With the Captains suffering casualties and heavy injuries on their side, all hope seemed to be lost... until Shinji Hirako appeared, along with the rest of the former Shinigami. Though the aid of the Vizards certainly helped to draw the battle in their favor, it seemed Aizen's power alone proved too much for them.
My problem with this is that a large portion of your application is now ridiculously hard to follow due to poor grammar. Lines like the following seriously harm your application's quality:
"Oh a child form my enemy!"
"I am a hollow deep and I luster for revenge and I will consume all. Give into my will I shall make you eat like the beast you are. Like the wolf you were thought to be."
"For those who save a meal shall be eaten by the meal."
"My meal is saved now be eaten."
Secondly, you have word wrap all over this application. Please remove it. Double space between paragraphs and speakers as well.
An application like this at the start would have been far more likely to be accepted, but the fact that there have been so many problems beforehand makes it hard for me to believe that you initially read the guides.
Character List "Let's eat, Grandma!" "Let's eat Grandma!" Commas save lives.