Dairinin Oscuro

[Wicked]

HOLY SHIZNITS resize that picture.

[taki]

Done

[Wicked]

Age:

He would look 25, Seki. Math. Learn it.

Appearance:

Please remove the reference to Kenpachi.

Personality:

So suddenly your character KNOWS that Rukia was doing what she thought was right? When she's just a random 13th division member? And how long has he been gone from the Gotei 13? How would he know about ALL of these people?

Secondly, this is contradictory. How could he respect them AND hate them all at once?

As Unohana said, when healers work, they feed their reiatsu into the body of another so that the reiatsu can mix and, when the person has their reiatsu supply replenished, they can heal themselves. This implies that Shinigami do not heal themselves.

"When he talks he has a distinctive scottish accent which is extremely weird in a japanese person. He had no real reason for this other then a liking for the accent."

Alright, I've said it before, I'll say it again: JAPANESE PEOPLE HAVE TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING NON-EASTERN ACCENTS! Now, if a character is an IMMIGRANT, I can see this. But Seki, someone just speaking in a DISTINCITVE SCOTTISH ACCENT, and being a JAPANESE person, BECAUSE THEY LIKE IT, wouldn't happen, simply because of key sounds and letters that do not mingle in the two languages. If you want to have a character that cannot be understood, then by all means. Adding this in randomly is incredibly Mary Sue from my perspective.

History:

"Oscuro’s life was normal until age 18 where he was killed by an escaped murderer in front of his sister. The man was a psycho and draped Oscuro’s intestines round the girl’s body causing her further mental trauma. The man then killed her slowly and painfully. Due to the trauma before her death she quickly became a hollow, but with a strange power that of possession."

...First off, you have some big grammar issues. "but with a strange power that of possession," is not a clause. "That of possession," is.
Secondly, souls don't become hollow immediately even with an intense amount of anguish. An intense amount of anguish just makes them remain on Earth.

"She grew strong feasting on others before she went against her brother who was still a plus. She did not know why, but she felt anger towards him and wanted to be strong before she ate him.

Hollows instinctively attack their loved ones first.

"It was why she was eating him from within that his soul was buried by a shinigami."

What?

"Most of the hollow influence was removed except a small fraction."

And why is that? Was the shinigami incompetent? Or was your character too busy clinging to his sister who tried to kill him to realize that he was being purified?

Right, there are tons of rough districts in rukongai. IE, the entire half of 40-80. Depending on the person, 25-80m even.

MOST squad 11 members have melee-based weapons. Not all.

Take out knowing Unohana. That's a no. Her third seat? No.

"At age 200 he fought against Ikkaku Madarame in order to test out his shikai against a high level opponent. However, Ikkaku overpowered him and during the battle Oscuro lost the sight in his eye and got the scar over it from a slash by his opponent. He ended the battle there, but refused to go to the fourth squad who could of saved his eye. Instead, he healed the basic wound and wore an eye patch to cover his now useless eye."

Mikhail informed me that you did not ask his permission before typing this. Remove this. It's unfair to potential future players of Ikkaku, and to Mikhail. Secondly, Shinigami cannot heal themselves.

"He returns the files and suppresses his anger, but begins to form a plan to leave soul society forever due to his new found hatred of the shinigami."

So, he is perpetually returning files and suppressing his anger, along with forming plans to leave Soul Society forever due to his new found hatred of shinigami?

I don't like that you just master your inner hollow so easily. Or, at least, you imply mastering it.

"Eventually after about 20 years had passed he returned to the Karakura area with a high level control of his mask and full mastery of his shikai."

With so many problems in this app, before I even touch upon powers no less, I'm going to tell you NO.

Now, from your appearance, I would have thought you meant to say you had JOINED the arrancar. I don't think that Aizen, nor the Espada, would actually care about what you were doing. Letters? No.

Zanpakuto Spirit:

How big is huge?

Kind people are not merciless.

It's bugging me that rarely anyone allows themselves to be ON THIN ICE with their zanpakuto. Which, by the by, we call "zanpakuto," not, "zanpakutoh."

Inner Hollow:

Give me an actual description and not just, "Gray has no actual opposite so..."
"She is like this but opposite."
"She is also female."

I find it Mary Sue how your character seems to have no inner conflict whatsoever.

Mask:

This is beginning to irritate me. DRAGONS COME IN DIFFERENT FORMS. Is it a European-style dragon, or an Asian-style dragon? Japanese, or Chinese? Seki, you've been here long enough to know what we ask for.

Hollow Abilities:

• Description of Attack - With this the hair like protrusions on the side of the mask extend and sharpen. He can manipulate these freely to stab at opponents up to a range of 15ft. He can also use these spikes to create a barrier around himself to reduce damage.
  
• Limitation - This technique is quite draining as it involves manipulating the masks shape itself. Therefore he can only keep it up for roughly 10 seconds each time and it will leave him quite tired afterwards.

How much reiatsu does it take? Do you mean these can go all twisty/turny? Now, turning this into an offensive AND defensive technique irks me. If you want a defensive and offensive technique, make two separate abilities.

On another note, your custom cero is a no go, given that we're not fans of elemental cero, let alone when an app has this kind of poor quality, especially NPCing major characters without so much as asking for permission. Cero are raw blasts of energy, and I'm not changing this. Given the fact that you're a long running member and have been here even before myself, you should know the rules by heart. I shouldn't have to brief you on this.

Shikai:

... Is the spike on the bottom of the axe a spike? Is it double-edged? Is it single-edged? DESCRIBE IT.

Seki, I'm not even telling you what's wrong with your powers and limitations specifically. You've been here long enough to know what we ask for here, and this is extremely disappointing. You barely put any limitations in here, and you do not take into account the tiers of your foes.

Rp Sample:

No you were not visited by Gin's lot.

Secondly, you portray a kind person here, which is not what I got out of your personality at all.

Overall:

This is terrible, Seki, there's barely any sections I don't have problems with. Considering that you've been here long enough to know better, I'll be consulting the staff about IF you get approved. Expect a reduced tier if that happens.

Finally, NAMES OF ABILITIES GO INSIDE THE ITALICS AND BOLDS.

[taki]

I'm not going to try and re-vamp it. I just don't seem to be able to do vizards.

[Wicked]

Moved to unaccepted, with the following note:

This is a warning, Seki. You've broken so many rules in this application, and you've been here for so long, I'm ashamed of you. If you had reviewed the rules instead of just typing things about how you had relations with canon characters, if you hadn't made your character so Mary-Sue, this could have been better.