Matsuo Masato (completed and waiting for review)

[merel]

Name: Matsuo Masato
Age: 156 years
Gender: Male
Personality:

Matsuo never talks to anyone exept those he can trust, unless he's in battle,and most of the time,himself. He never thinks that anyone is innocent until proven so, that everyone deserves to die for any crime they've done. The only person he answers to is the men in charge (Aizen, Gin and Kaname) and the Espada, and takes no crap from anybody else. At times, he can loose his patience and try to injure (or kill) the person that annoys him the most.

Appearance:

Matsuo has long black hair that covers his left eye, pale skin and sky blue eyes and looks like he's at least 14 or 16 year old in human years, and is about 5'6. The remains of his hollow mask, which looks like a ram skull, covers the right half of his face from fore-head to upper lip. His Arrancar outfit is just like anyone other, except the sleeves look too long for his arms.

He looks like a drug addict from high-school or college, but that look is only due to a lack of sleep. He basically looks like he's just in Hueco Mundo, but as the old saying goes, looks can be deceiving. When he's in battle, he always wears a creepy smile to accompany his thrill of the hunt.During a fight, he becomes jittery and twitchy, this is either caused by fear or excitement.

Arrancar Powers:

Alta Frecuencia (High Frequency):This attack is a high frequency of infrasound that causes fear,anxiousness and/or fear to rise in enemies

Vladimir Cannon: This ability creates an infrasound frequecy that causes fatigue, choking, and abdominal pains, thus weakening the enemy

Natural Arrancar Powers:

Cero : High-powered energy blasts that can be fired from various body parts, such as mouth, tongue, hand or fingers, in Matsuo's case his mouth.

Bala: An Arrancar's alternative to a Cero. The technique hardens the user's Spiritual Pressure and fires it like a bullet. Although it is weaker than a normal Cero, it moves about twenty times faster and can be fired at a much higher rate, but the damage is much the same. Stronger Arrancar can also fire a more powerful Bala, while retaining its twenty-fold speed.

Sonído: The Arrancar's equivalent of the Shinigami Flash Steps and the Quincy Hirenkyaku; it allows the user to travel at incredibly high speeds for short distances. Use of Sonído is punctuated by a brief static sound, in contrast to the "swish" sound caused by Flash Steps.

Zanpakuto's name:

Chillar Monstruo
(Screaming Monster)

Un-released Zanpakuto's Appearance:

A 3-bladed kukri (a Napalese knife used as a tool and a weapon), which is black at the round hilt, with an engraving of a wolf howling at the moon.

An example of a Kukri

Resurrección Release phrase::

"Hear the Silence, Chillar Monstruo!"

Resurrección Appearance::

Matsuo's Resurrección form is a like a gorilla, only the arms are larger, wider, and extremely thick.The bottom portion of his face is covered with his hollow mask's jaw, this is for one of his Resurrección abilities. He has a tail that has three blades on the end just like his zanpakuto.

In this form, Matsuo is about as tall as Fishbone D (first hollow Ichigo fought),starting at his arms, which are 2 feet above his head. The only area on this form that is not white is the teeth portion of Matsuo's mask, their all blood-red, forming a smile.His legs are very small in this form, say about 2 1/2 feet in length, and 5 feet in width.

Resurrección Abilities::

Sonido Alarido (Sound Scream): This is an ability of Matsuo's that allows him to emit a scream that can allow him to communicate to comrades who are at least 6 miles away. This can allow him to plea for backup. This is a last resort for Matsuo, because he's not one to fight in teams.

Infrasónicas Turbina (Infrasound Turbine): This is an ability that create a wind tunnel around the battle field that creates a low infrasound frequency, which creates breathing problems for the enemy.

Skill Level: Kidou: Intermediate
Skill Level: Swordsmanship: Intermediate
Skill Level: Sonido: Advanced
Skill Level: Hand-to-hand: Beginner
History/Background:

Human: Matsuo was the son of a police officer who was famous in society for his many successes. He was severely feared and hated in the criminal business, so they devised a plan to ruin him. While luring Matsuo's father with a robbery, an army of criminals stormed his house and killed Matsuo and his mother. Matsuo and his mother were left as wholes chained to the house, and after most of the criminals that killed them died behind bars, they tracked the Masato wholes down, and tried to devour them, but Shinigamis got in the way, and accidentally severed Matsuo's Chain of Fate during the fight. He ran away, fleeing for his own life.

Hollow: When Matsuo ran away, his extreme sense of fear corroded his rather short Chain of Fate faster than the Shinigamis intended. When he transformed in to a Hollow, he became a humongous beast with a ram skull for a mask. He swore to himself on the minute his transformation was complete, he would devour every Shinigami he could find, in order to claim vengeance for what they did to him. He started hunting down Wholes, and waited for Shingamis to come in order to preform Konsōs for the spirits and then he would devour them when he got the chance. Unfortunately, he only manged only one Shinigami, and he started to hunger more and more every day.

Menos: After the day he devoured a Shinigami, he went to the Realm of Hollows, and starved until he went mad with hunger, and started to devour other Hollows. He soon became a Menos, and felt power surging within him, power he thought would be enough to crush the Shinigamis. Unfortunately he was wrong, and almost got killed by a squad of Shinigamis, and retreated to the Menos Forest to heal. He hunted and devoured other Hollows to release the anger he had after he was defeated by those he hated the most.

Adjucha:After this form of evolution, Matsuo just decided to give up on trying to hunt down Shinigamis for sometime. He thought that if he went again, he would surely be killed after what happened before. But during one of his meals, he was visited by a man who had a white uniform, who made him an offer. Matsuo accepted after considering the circumstances.

RP Sample:

Matsuo sat in the middle of the desert, reviewing the previous events of his life. He could remember the day his eyes were opened to the world of the Shinigamis and Hollows, the day they fought each other for the fate of his life. His mother was screaming and crying so hard on that day, she couldn't stand all the violence on that night, nor could she take in the fact that her only son ran away from home when his chain was severed by a foolish Shinigami.
"Mother," he said, sadly,"I'm sorry."
"My, my,"said a voice,"remembering the past?"
Matsuo turned aroun, not surprised. The voice belonged to Skrull Diasano, an arrancar who found Matsuo in the Menos Forest as an Adjucha by Aizen's command.
"Skrull,"said Matsuo,"what do you want?"
"Eh, what do you mean,"said Skrull childishly,"I'm just taking a walk in the desert, it's merely a coincidence that we met here."
"Is that so,"said Mastuo.
He got up and walked toward one of the nearby trees and snapped off one of the quartz branches.
"These trees,"he said,"remind me of the day I joined the ranks of Las Noches."
"You have a strange way of remembering things, man,"said Skrull,"anyways, see ya'!"
He turned around and went towards the palace.
"Yeah,see ya,"said Matsuo calmly,"my second Father."

[Shinigami Kyra]

Appearance: Add one more paragraph on appearance. How tall is he exactly, and little things like that.

Arrancar Powers: Please read not only the rules, but the side bar for applications. It states two powers, you have four. Reduce the number. The others seem useless in comparison to High Frequency; why would he even use the others when he can just use that? You have no limitation on it, so the other abilities sort of seen redundant. The shield also needs to be limited. Preventing all sorts of melee combat for ten minutes? I highly doubt it would hold against Kenpachi's spiritual pressure.

Resurreccion Appearance: Again, more detail on description.

Resurreccion Abilities: Cero Frecuencia - From what I see, it looks like you can use the old attacks, as well as fire a Cero along with it. No. Too much. Either explain it in more detail and add some sort of limiter, or no.

Sonido Alarido - How exactly does this weaken him so much? Isn't this just a call to comrades sort of thing?

Infrasónicas Turbina - I guess I understand the breathing problems; kinda hard to breathe in a tornado, but digestive problems? Do you really want people pooping all over the place, especially in a tornado?

Am I also to believe that you have all your original abilities, amplified, as it states in your appearance? If so, they need to be listed here. And I'll tell you straight up that it'll be far too many abilities all together.

History: ...

Sample Post: ... *points to Guide*

Overall: *points go Guide* I'm doing this so I don't have to repeat myself after coming up with that Guide. Read it; it's apart of the rules.

[Shinigami Kyra]

Please only post a reply when you have finished completely. This allows us to easily determine when an application is fully ready to be reviewed.

[merel]

Editing Complete, this time for sure!

[Shinigami Kyra]

Note: All Quotes are from the Guide that I informed you to read.

Grammar: Space after your commas, periods, and so forth. Double return/Enter twice for your Sample Post; it's all congested and pretty difficult to read.

Spelling: ... Spell Check.

Personality: Your Personality does not hold the minimum standards.

I've noticed lately that a lot of people are having trouble with this section in particular. The best route to take is to try one or two basic personalities, and smooth out the edges. Arrogance, and evil, let's say for example. You wouldn't say in his personality that he cares for his friends and respects authority, would you? A lot of people have been making contradictions in their explanation of the personality, and I believe it's due to players wanting to put in too much into their character. Tone it down to about one to three aspects of a basic personality, then expand from there. This section should roughly be 1 to 2 paragraphs; five to seven sentences each.

From there:

"Matsuo never talks to anyone exept those he can trust, unless he's in battle,and most of the time,himself."

First, I don't really understand that last part. "Most of the time, himself?" What does that mean? You started off with "He never talks to anyone except..." Does that mean he only talks to those he trusts, and himself? The way you worded the sentence, it just doesn't fit right whatsoever.

I think you mean "Lose" patience, not "Loose" patience... personality's too bland. It doesn't explain much about him except he doesn't talk, he doesn't take crap from no one, and he 'listens' to authority.

Appearance: Okay... you sort of ... don't explain have the stuff about his jittery stuff or whatever in personality. What's that all about?

"He basically looks like he's just in Hueco Mundo, but as the old saying goes, looks can be deceiving."

No idea what that means. How can you look like you're "just in Hueco Mundo?" Does it mean he looks like sand? Like he's just taking up space, like he has no meaning being there? I have no idea what sort of connection you're trying to make.

Arrancar Powers: No limitations and not enough description on the abilities.

There are, of course, limitations on these abilities. Just like any other power, a limitation must be placed on your abilities. Otherwise, we will assume that you are attempting to create an overpowered character.

Such powers are under the category 'Oddball Powers.' What this means is that it becomes very hard for a Moderator to judge these types of powers. Sound-based powers that cause such curious types of ailments to a player's character is very hard to judge. While it doesn't necessarily 'Injure' them, it forces them to 'feel' a certain way. In a sense, such powers can be considered 'Godmod.'

Stating a character's (other than the one you possess) emotions, or how they react to your own character is a version of Godmoding. For example:

Player A: Character A goes Bankai. The tremendous amount of reiatsu forces Character B to cower in fear, and feel the full weight of the immense spiritual pressure.

Such an action is unacceptable. As such, powers such as these, which force characters to 'feel' a certain way are very difficult to become acceptable. I would simply recommend first, attempting at another power and theme for your character.

Unreleased Zanpakuto: Nice picture... more description.

Pictures are always helpful, but they should not be a replacement for appearance.

Resurreccion Appearance: "In this form, Matsuo is about as tall as Fishbone D (first hollow Ichigo fought),starting at his arms, which are 2 feet above his head."

No idea what you mean by "Starting at his arms, which are 2 feet above his head."

First, write out the number. Are you saying his arms are two feet above his head? I don't understand; what's two feet above his head? Above who's head?

History: Shinigami, not Shinigamis. Shinigami is both singular and plural; no need to add an S on the end. Secondly... I'm a bit iffy on the whole 'Whoops, I severed your Chain of Fate somehow by accident without much description; see ya later!' deal. Normally, Hollows have no real 'Vengeance' tendencies, as they do not remember their human lives, they just become slaves to their own Hunger... in normal cases. I know when they become Arrancar, they certainly don't hold such vivid memories of their past life as your Character seems to have.

You just have a big list of 'he did this, then this, then this happened, and he did this' and it just seems like most of what you've written down is just to take up space/extend the history to meet the minimum requirements. You don't have any real explanation to his personality in here, or anything like that.

Sample Post: First of all, this has to be rewritten. No Shinigami nor Arrancar, under normal circumstances Canon-wise, remember their human lives. As stated above, double return for each new paragraph. This sample post also does not really reflect anything about your character, other than the fact that he 'reflects about his human past,' however, we know in the Bleach universe that such 'reflecting' is improbable. With a majority of the post filled with dialogue, you have little to no actual actions in your post. As such, you need to lengthen it, add more detail, and add more actions (not Action i.e., fighting, but actual actions)

As it reads, it should be an introduction of your character and include exactly how you will portray him or her.

That being said, there may be contradictions; if you have a majority of dialogue, then your paragraphs may not be 3-5 sentences a piece. If that is the case, then we ask that you go a bit further, and instead of going 3 paragraphs, lengthen it to 5.

Please post a reply only when you have made the editing required above.