Aoide (Modified)

[ishi]

Name: Aoide Sato
Age: 200
Gender: Female
Personality:

Aoide, once upon a time when she was much younger was considered a terror to the Soul Society. She was a young, spontaneous creature with the tendencies to bring back very odd trinkets from the human world. Being a dreamer, and unable to focus her mind on her studies in the Academy, it took her a long time to graduate then. Now at and older and riper age she’s able to control her dreaming, and is less of a terror then more of a calm, influencing force on her Squad. When dealing with her Squad she tries to remain patient and do what she can for them, even if she feels like she’ll explode from frustration. With the other Shingami she a little different, willing to show her temper, her frustration, and her habit of jumping the gun and wanting to fight. She’s all to willing to object to authority if she feels like it’s not the right course of action, let alone if she doesn’t like the guy.

Being clever in nature she enjoys just letting someone run around in circles in an argument. Even so, she’s a fun loving woman, with a pretty good heart, who loves to drink Sake, and dream when she has the time. Though she appears cheerful at most times, Aoide is a deeper person, letting her worries and fears be held inside, less they be considered a form of weakness and used against her. Aoide is a little confused on the being sexy department, usually having no clue or failing horribly if she tries. She also hates people who gossip and spread rumors often smacking the back of their heads when she catches people doing so.

She also has put in much of her money into a few rice patties where she plans to make her own sake and sell it to the local taverns.

Appearance:

Aoide is a slender young looking girl with large doe brown eyes. Her hair is dark brown, thick, with a crop of bangs that go across her forehead at an angle. When she’s not in battle and just working on her Squad responsibilities she likes wearing her hair up in two elaborate pigtails. Her lips are soft looking and postioned under a straight rounded nose. Her eyebrows are a little overly bushy, which she likes to waggle at people she likes or is trying to be comical. She’s pretty good looking when she’s trying to pull off being serene, but she looks frightening when she’s angry. Her face usually takes on a gentle look, though her mouth can also turn into a large pointed grin against an opponent. She has a medium sized bust, though has the tendency not to have any clue on how to use it, let alone anything sexy. From her many battles against hollows as well as other Squad 11 members Aoide back and shoulders are criss crossed with many scars, she is both proud as a warrior but ashamed as a woman of these scars.

Zanpakuto Spirit:

Yobirin Masurao (Bell Warrior)

Aoide's spirit takes the form of a larger burly man, who has gentle green eyes and his black hair tied back into a ponytail. The man is dressed in traditional japanese robes, mostly in yellows and orange. He has a Biwa in one hand and a large blade, roughly the shape of a meat cleaver in the other hand. He seems to love to fight more the Aoide, but only when Aoide herself has given into battle rage. In fact most of the time he is calm and relaxed, Aoide gets fustrated at him for not giving being more agreeable when it comes for him working with her. Except when it comes to fighting, Yobirin gives her little details on how to control her powers, and then laughs at her when she messes up.

Yobirin can be stubborn, rude, and prone to violence. Everytime Aoide knows he's near she smell the very faint scent of roses. Aoide hates when he appears because he tends to sneak behind her and scare her. Unknown to Aoide is Yobirin is a shape shifter, but only takes this form around her.

Inner World: Aoide’s inner world appears to be a large forest made completely of glass right down to the small blades of glass. Only that path that leads up to her spirit is clear of such glass. In times of depression or when Aoide seems to crumble the glass seems to melt or shatter.

Sealed Zanpakuto:

A simple Wakizashi, with lacquered tang wrappings orange in color. The guard of the blade is a simple circle shape with music notes carved into the metal. The blade being shorter then most Katana’s has made Aoide have to concentrate on using the entire blade while she fights, such as using the hilt to jab an enemy in the stomach. Such a short blade has also made her quick with her movements, having to strike and move before her opponent with a longer, heavier blade can attack. Aoide has also trained herself in using the sheath of her blade in her attacks as well, including using it to block attacks. After all with having a small blade, she had to figure out someway to keep from being stabbed.

Shikai Description:

Zanpakutou Name: Yobirin Masurao Mae (Bell Warrior Dance)


A doubled ended bladed Naginata, with a string of bells winding down its shaft. Though it appears to be made out of wood, the Naganita is still hard to cut with a normal blade. When Aoide unleashes it, it seems to hum with excitement and sucks up the sound around it.


~Shikai form~

Shikai Abilities:

Cavatina, (Sing)- The area around the battle field will grow silent as the blade absorbs all the sound in the area. It will glow with a rushing white glow, then all the sound that it has absorb is released in a sonic boom type attack. Aoide’s speed and strength are heightened as well as when her blade hit another blade or the enemy it lets off smaller blasts of sonic pressure.

Soul Choir, (Follow)- The tips of Aoide’s blade will glow before shooting into the air, five mini sonic booms come crashing to the ground following the enemy by Aoide concentrating on the song that the person’s Spirit Pressure gives out. She must stand still and concentrate on the target to allow her blade the ability to zone in on the Spiritual pressure and follow their movements. Aoide is unable to move until the last attack is finish and even then she is slow and sluggish.



Though Aoide is unable to use most forms of Kidou, she prefers just to bend her Spiritual Energy, such as keeping a foe away, or making it weigh her down so she can pin a foe. She also enjoys using her vast Spiritual Energy to change her clothing when she goes Shikai. Though she's able to absorb small amouts of spare energy in the air, is Aoide stays in Shikai, she grows weaker, her clothing goes back to her shinigami robes and she will pass out.

Currently Aoide has been able to use her voice and mix it to Reistu to try to get those with low or no Spiritual Energy to bend that what she says. She's still not very good at this technique and often fails at it. She also been training herself to mimic other people's voices, though this is mostly for her own amusement.

Bankai Description:

Currently Aoide is only a beginner at Bankai, which is the most that her Zanpaktou thinks she had handle at this point and time. Aoide's powers still are taken from the sounds in the air, only at this point her body is directly absorbing the sound allowing her to be able to reach the level of speed and strength of a Captain. Her Bankai Reistu is orange and well as her clothing changing into an orange outfit. Her Naganita turns into what looks like a bladed staff, which the blades fan out. At the end of the blades where it meets the staff is two large silver bells.

Bankai Abilities:

Currently Aoide's speed and strength are amplified to that of a Captain's.

Skill Level: Kidou: Beginner
Skill Level: Swordsmanship: Advanced
Skill Level: Shunpou: Advanced
Skill Level: Hand-to-hand: Intermediate
History/Background:

Aoide Sato grew up in Feudal Japan, her parents were well to do pottery makers. She learned the skill as well, but not to the skill of her parents due to at a young age she was arranged to be married to a distant well to do fighter for the Lord of the land. Even knowing this Aoide grew up a happy child, her parents loving her as much as possible. At the age of fifteen she left her parent’s workshop and went to her future husband’s lands. Unfortunately, it was a time of war she never met her husband nor married him, there was just never a chance For two years she was in charge of his lands and household, until the message from the Lord came. Her to be husband was killed in battle, while the rest of the household wept, Aoide was unsure what to do, how could she cry for someone she never knew. Arrangement were made to return her home, and the night before she left Aoide was awoken by the sound of part of the household being torn apart. She ran outside to see a huge creature munching on the soul of one of the servants. Aoide picked up a nearby Naganita, then threw a rock at the creature. A short lived battle began, only for Aoide to be badly beaten. As she lay on the ground the Hollow laughing over her, a black figure flew at the creature slicing its mask in half.

This man was a Shinigami, one of Squad 13, ordered to find Hollows and destroy them in the human world. Akeno Yuu, of the lesser of the noble houses, but still a good Shinigami none the less. As Aoide laid on the ground her eyes dull and gasping for air, he walked over to her. Slowly, her eyes looked at him, that’s when Akeno knew he had to take her with him, she had potential, the Soul Society would need someone like her. And so Aoide’s soul was adopted into the Yuu family. For while she stayed with the family, learning about the Soul Society and how to act. It was a great deal of time before she actually enrolled into the Shinigami Academy and began her studies. Long years went by as she struggled through school. Finally, upon graduation she was actually accepted, to her dismay, to Squad 11. Other then Yachiru, she was the lone female in this squad, and in one of the last positions in the squad. Her skin thickened with the rumors of being a whore and other nasty things being said.

Aoide worked hard on her training and was soon reconized as being able to sense other Shinigami by their Spiritual Energy, what she called, 'their song.' Yamamoto seeing potential that wouldn't grow in an all fighting Squad moved Aoide to Squad 10. Aoide, frankly pissed over the move, fought her way through the ranks to come comfortably to the third seat of the Squad.

RP Sample:

Aoide Sato stood looking up at the sky, the wind slowly brushing agaist her skin as she worked calf deep in water. The rice was coming along beautifully, the thin green stalks bent in the wind almost like they were bowing to her. Aoide could almost feel the energy coming off of these plants and if she concentrated she probably could see the weak, very weak light lime spiritual energy from them. Aoide had learned not to long ago that most things that were living had some sort of energy, and by concentrating by the song they gave off she could sometimes see the energy.

Wiping her bow, Aoide went back to work, enjoying the sun warming her back and bare shoulders. She would probably be tanned by the end of the day. A taboo, most women in the Soul Society prefered white, silky skin. But Aoide didn't really care, after all no one would be observing her, nor the criss-cross of scars on her shoulders and body.

Blowing a stray few hairs from her eyes, Aoide lookd up in time to see a Hell Butterfly fluttering around her. She let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, it was her day off, shesh Hitsugaya was a slave driver. She let the small creature land on her finger, and on receiving her message watch the butterfly disappear. Letting out a groan and making sure to move as slowly as possible, Aoide packed up all of her tools and then made her way back to Head Quarters.

[Rebel Raven]

Hello!

You make a potent application, and it looks good!

There is a few minor details though!

I ask that you remove the part of her history concerning her removing Ikkaku's eyebrows, and fighting Zaraki.

It's a bit unfair to expect anyone picking up those characters to remember that as it's not part of their canon history.

[ishi]

done

[aeria]

Hi Aoi, you already know me. Member #2 of the Lesbrigade will now review your Application.

Now, here's what I have to say to a potential future member of the lesbrigade (High praise): From this application I can tell two things: 1.) You are a competent writer. 2.) You have a strong image of this character, and are almost certainly passionate about this character.

Because of those two things, I'm going to be a little picky with you, because I know you can have a very brilliant character here. I'll touch on each part, showing what I think is brilliant and/or missing in each section:

Gender: Good Choice! WE ARE THE SUPERIOR HALF!

Personality: Let me spell this one out:
F
A
N
T
A
S
T
I
C

This is what we're looking for. Thank you.

Appearance: Again, as if it came straight out of our beloved Kyree's FAQ; you provide wonderful pictures as well as a nice, big, fat paragraph of description, describing what we're seeing.

Zanpakutou Spirit: Now here's where I start feeling surprised. Your first two sections were wonderful; exemplary; show you have a passion for Aoi, and have thought her character out very wholly; and then you start leaving out some of those beautiful, fun-to-read descriptions when you get to Yobirin. Zanpakutou Spirits are just as much interesting, unique people as the characters themselves, and deserve just as much attention. Talk about how the spirit smells, expand on her relationship with Aoi, talk about how she walks, talks, how loud is she? What does she do to Aoi? Did she teach? Or do they treat each other as equals. I think you know what I'm talking about here, because you are brilliant, and you can easily do this if you just put a bit of time into it. The world is good, but some more sensory aspects would be fun. Of course, both of these are -technically- fine, and -theoretically- acceptable, but is that what you want? To be average? Or do you want to really shine? I've talked to you in chat, you're some one who can stand out. So do just that.

Stand Out. ^.^

Sealed: Fine. Very nice.

Shikai: *Takes a deep breath*

This is the -only- area that actually keeps me from accepting this right away. I'll start with the description section: You describe the nagnata well enough, but you don't talk about the appearance change evident in the picture you provided. Talk about the outfit; if you want, expand on the naginata, using more descriptions about the metal, the length, the sharpness, how awkward it is, etc. That's optional, but again, large potential.
Now for the -actual- shikai abilities. This shikai is too powerful. What you have right now looks to me more like a weak bankai. First off, you're got 3 activated abilities, each described "Ok." The first makes an explosion of sound, makes her faster and stronger, and allows her weapon to make small sonic boom-percussion blasts whenever she hits something. Ok. That's a cool shikai, as long as you talk more about how much energy it uses to stay in this form, and how many times she can use it. Just how strong are these blasts? Then there's the second one. She concentrates on the "song" of the person, and the ends of her naginata fly out, sending sonic booms out? So then, does she control these, having them slice the person up, or does she just focus on the spiritual pressure of the enemy, and the Zanpakutou spirit does the rest? While she's concentrating, can she move? Defend herself? Can she attack with her now-staff while the blades are going crazy? This one ability could, if you make if a little better, become a shikai. Think Renji: His shikai changes the shape and lets it extend and... that's it. Even look at Byakuya, who's got Shire, which is crazy powerful, but it's just Shire. Exceptions would be people like Shunsui, Ukitake, and Yamamoto, but they're mad-crazy-powerful. Are you trying to make the next Shunsui? Meh. Then the third ability. So, it's like an Ultimate? Where she can "BLOW DOWN BUILDINGS?" I don't care if they have to be right next to her or not, this is too much, especially if you add onto it the flying-sonic-boom-emitting-blades -and- the sonic-boom weapon explosion enhancement that increases speed and power while active. Now, all these together is tooooo much. Here's what you can do: Either way, get rid of number 3. A.) Get rid of number 2 too. B.) Change number 1, take out the power and speed increase, and then you can keep number 2, as long as you explain some of the questions I have inside the application. Sorry, but this is too strong and something needs to be done. You can read this and do something different and let me judge it, or you could do one of the two I suggested, and I'll be happy with it.

Bankai: Perfect. I like it when people don;t have a bankai in their initial application. People with bankais are usually battle-hungry and think that, with more power, they can have a bigger ripple in the pond that is this forum. Wrong.

History: Exemplary. What we're looking for. Not saying you can;t make it larger if you want, adding more events that might have added to her character, or talk more about the family she got adopted into, but it's fine as is if you don;t want to do anything about it.

Rp Sample: Perfect as is.

----------------------

So, here's what you can do:

1.) Make this in-CREDIBLE, adding to everything and making everyone here really happy, and change the shikai like I asked...

OR

2.) Just change the shikai, and then I'll approve it.

Thanks for applying and providing us with this wonderful, original character! Sorry if I come off as picky, but I like finding the best people have to offer and pulling it out of them. I won't see you any worse if all you do is change the shikai, but I WILL see you better if you make the whole thing shine like the north star.

Next time I post, it'll be with an approval!
-Aeria

[ishi]

okay, fixed the shikai and the inner spirit bio

[aeria]

Awesome! Thanks for the revision. ^.^

Approved.

Mid-Level Strong.