Shion Yayade

[shotty]

Name: Shion yayade
Age: 147
Gender: Male
Personality:

Shion is a really nice guy which throws people off because of his emmence spiritual pressure. Shion loves fighting and will fight all day if permitted. This earned him the respect of his former head captain kenpachi zaraki.He loves pretty girls and will kill anyone who interferes while hes talking to one.You can usually find him easily hes where the girls are.

Appearance:

Shion is about 6 feet.He looks young blinding people to his true age.He is very wise but also very playfull.His styles both light and dark. As his captains robe is white. But under that he wears the clothing of the low level stealth force which is black.He has long purple hair which he usually ties up it sometimes gets in the way during fighting.He has a I just woke up from bed kinda style which suits his reckless yet, calm nature. his eyes are usually a really dark red so they look black,but when he releases energy they turn to a lighter brown kind of colour,hes very muscular but not bulky,he could be but believes it will only slow him down and is not willing to sacrifice power for a bit of his speed.

Zanpakuto Spirit:

Zanpakuto Name:
Shadrale the dyrad blade

Zanpakuto Spirit:
Is a carefree female spirit which has a short temper.She often scolds shion because while shes trying to teach him.Hes hitting on her or staring at her chest.She sometimes will also hit on him, but in a joking way.Its unclear what her true feelings are.As she is a spirit but the companionship and humor of shion brings a spark of intrest to a other wise boring and lonely world.She told shion her name and blushed when he told her he thought it was beautifull.


Zanpakuto Realm:
Her realm is a pink hell,Theres pink flowers as far as the eye can see. Shion hates going there as its so girly.But hes never told her that.But he gets the feeling she might know some how.

Sealed Zanpakuto:

Is a long slender sword which is gold at the hilt. However its not long enough to poke through his robe.(i actually dont know measurements but the length of your hand to ur shoulder i guess)It stays on a mechanism that shoots from his arm when needed and the sheath is nowhere to be seen untill the blade is released into its Shikai form.Shion calls it the illusion of death and if you see it in action youll know why.

Shikai Description:

Zanpakuto Description: Shadrale is one of the few Zanpakuto that lacks a purely offensive ability, and due to this lacking, is not highly desired by any Shinigami for use. Those who do use the blade, however, find that her abilities are quite unique and useful in more ways than assumed just by knowing tid-bits of information about the sword.
main ability:Infatuation & hipnosis

Zanpakuto Release Phrase:
"Death comes Swiftly, Breathe Shadrale!!"

Released Zanpakuto Looks:
The sword grows longer to become the equal of its owners legs.In this form it cant be in shions robe anymore. in order to release it one must run it along the length of their arm.While completing the phrase.
[url=http://www.servimg.com/image_preview.php?
i=264&u=14571740]

[/url][/blockquote]Shikai Abilities:

Mind Rotting Bite: When Shadrale deals damage through it's cut to an opponent, the sword damage appears as normal for 3 posts, until afterwards the wound begins to glow green and knit itself. In contrast, however, once the wound knits, poisonous spores are sent through the body that affect the mind irresistibly, making the opponent believe that the damaged body part has just rotted away. This enables the sword to be used to heal allies (albeit with a side-effect) or to 'harm' opponents while leaving them in-tact.(can be used everyother post)

Green Memory: When Shadrale is swung, a veil of green plant-like material is left in the blade's wake, creating a sort of secondary-attack. The more consecutive swings, the more veil is left behind, and when used skillfully this can form a barrier around the user or the opponent, or penalize opponents who dodge attacks with small movements.



Sakura Wind: Instead of making an attack with Shadrale, the wielder may instead hold the blade up into the air and cause the various leaves on the sword to fly off in the wind, glowing pink as they do so. This ability can only be used once per thread and must be done before the sword can be used for Bankai.

Each petal releases an aphrodisiac, causing the opponent to lose their combat intent, and to see the Zanpakuto's spirit, that of the lovely dryad, instead of their opponent who is wielding Shadrale. If the opponent is female, the spirit simple shifts its appearance to appear as a stocky male. As long as the petals remain in the air, the effect remains.(stops attack for 3 turns)

Bankai Description:

When Shadrale is used for Bankai, she must first have used Sakura Wind, as stated in the abilities description. Once this has been done, each flower petal multiples, and those petals multiple, and so on and so forth until an enormous tree is formed in the center of the battlefield. The tree is roughly 50ft tall with hundreds of branches that each house a smiling, partially-naked, dryad of the male or female variety depending on the opponent.(not real only images)

Once this tree is created, called the Great Dryad Hollow, a variety of effects may be used...

Dryad Hypnosis: With a glance into any of the dryad's eyes, a bond is made that causes the opponent to believe that they are madly in love with the creature, and that the dryad is in love with them. Even opponents from other species are not immune to this effect, and this prevents the opponent from directly harming the tree. Any attack made to harm the tree is conflicted by the inner mind and the 'heart', making it impossible to perform.
(tree cant be attacked)
Bankai Looks:
the gold finish around the hilt stretches out to protect the hand.and the colour changes to a dark purple you can only see the purple shine when the sun reflects it.

except with vines growing around it like in its shikai form

Alterations:
Dependant on the user, the tree can resemble any tree desired, and the dryad occupying it tend to each have their own appearance. The dryad commonly take seductive poses or lounge around in the tree, or running about it.

Bankai Abilities:

Dryad Hospitality: Any designated group of persons the user desires may be snatched up by the dryads and brought inside of the tree where they are catered to in every manner and allowed a rapidly induced rest. This rest heals all wounds dealt to the persons within a post that do not include de-limbing, decapitation, or similar extreme injuries. These injuries are healed over the course of 3 posts instead, and any poisons, bleeding, etc. are halted while this healing occurs.
(healing takes 3 posts in the seriousest of case. and can only be used every 3 posts)

Due to the Great Dryad Hollow's first ability, the tree will not be harmed, allowing for healing in peace, though the Shinigami using the technique is not so blessed. Any missing limbs healed by the tree gain a grainy, bark-like texture and appear brown and unhealthy. In the spring, the limb sprouts pink blossoms, in the fall the blossoms fall off, and in the winter the limb is wholly barren again. Otherwise, it functions as a normal limb.

Skill Level: Kidou: Intermediate
Skill Level: Swordsmanship: Advanced
Skill Level: Shunpou: Advanced
Skill Level: Hand-to-hand: Intermediate
History/Background:

Shion began life in the Shiyi clan his mother, a shinigami of the unique stealth force. And his father a quincy of the land of the living.In a world full of hate between the two they somehow found love.The quincy and soulreaper hadnt always had there differences at one point, the two fought on the same ground they both lived for one dream to protect the innocent from there inpending doom.But there was one big difference in the way the two sides saw this should be met.The soulreapers sought peace and spiritual balance.With the zonpacto they would first cleanse the soul of the wrong they commited as a hollow before sending them to the soul society,The quincy didn't agree and thought of it as stupid to show such a coutesy to their attackers and instead thought to only destroy them.Thus throwing off the balance of the spirit world by sending too many souls strait to the underworld.The soulreapers told the quincy many times of what their actions would result in.But sadly to no avail and so a war was declared. Shion was born on a very dark day, where his mothers sister was ordered to kill his father.In the order of the eradication of all quincy and there kind.The two had disapeared into the land of the living with their unborn child.They were trying to escape to a place they could be together and raise there family in peace without becoming involved in the two sides war. This was not the case they trusted the wrong person and this resulted in their emminent capture. Shions mother Ayame Shiyi and Aorra Ishida.

Aorra was executed on spot after attempting to stand up to the captain who came to claim his subbortinate soul reaper.And Ayame was taken back to the society after being forced from her gigai.A long trial insued with her in the repentance cell.Which was where she had her kid.With the ongoing war noone cared or noticed she was pregnant they all only assumed she put on weight.They only noticed something was out of the ordinary when shions screams shook up the seretai.Shion was snatched from the floor and taken to the hospitol.And the woman died from shock and having no help.

The infant child Shion was raised by his mothers, brother Kanna Shiyi.Shion grew up thinking of this man as his father.And was never corrected.He was in the stealth force but wasnt a valuble member. Still his influence on them and indeed the entire soul society made him a house hold name.Not only was he well respected but his opinions and abilty to access situations made him one of the only members not born into royalty. to speak on equal ground as a member of the noble families.Shion grew up idolizing him and traing relentlessly with him. Everyday he would become stronger under his influence.Eventually kana rose through the ranks and became the leader of the stealth force.The rest not only resented this decission but began to hate him. Shion was of the age of 10 when he truely began to master the fighting arts.And began going on missions with them following the head leader Yoroichi the princess.

Eventually Shion learned the truth about the night his father was murdered while kneeling at the side of Kanna.He was destroyed in a freak hollow accident.The hollow was like nothing ever seen before. Kanna told shion about the order to kill all quincy and how he is half.Shion scoffed at this idea he had no remorse for the quincy as they were destroying the peace and wouldn't listen to reason.Shions quincy power is dormant and one day may rise to the top.

At age 15 he became a soul reaper acing exams in shunpo and swordman ship his kido was in desperete need of work. He trained harder then ever taking his skills to the next level with the stealth force.

Eventually he was given an oppertunity to work under the current leader of that division and quickly became stronger.One fatefull day his efforts were awarded with the full awakening of his shinigami powers. The shock of the event and the pure power that flowed into him.When he first met his sword Shadrale.He trained hard and hoped for this day for 50 years.But wasnt ready as his body was unable to withhold the power and he collapsed to the ground.Shion remembers the day vividly.It was raining the rain made it so nothing was visable.And in the midst stood a pretty girl.Shions eyes immediatly lit up at her beauty and he began holding her hand and trying to sweet talk her.She didnt yet reveal her identity she just smiled as she said her name.and asked him if he was ready now.He looked at her and asked her what she was talking about.She didnt respond and instead fused with him. when it happend the seretai shook and shion was unconcious for 10 years.

This time was not spent doing nothing though while in his mind he trained with Shadrale every second he lived in that world for 10 years and vowed if he ever sees another flower it will be too soon. When he awoke his power was undeniable and his speed was nothing short of amazing. He quicky rose through the ranks and became a lutenant.The captain feared shions power and so he decided to attempt to kill him.

But was nowhere near strong enough and found out the hardway.When shion cut him in half using his newly awaken powers.When he released shadrale the captain became infatuated with the spirit and the image.This was all the time shion needed.He was thought of as a traitor and a murderer, but after a long going investigation shion proved he was not the one who ignitated it. Though it was only circumstancial evidence, he is now the vice captain and is watched every second. Hes also the leader of the stealth force and master of the flash step.He spends most of his days wondering about the fate of his fallen fathers race.

And if hes destined to end the same way. Hes in no way proud to be a quincy still he wishes he had gotten to meet his father.Shion spent many days training for wars and fighting hollows. Not many more impressive then when the Arrancar made a foolish mistake of challenging him.It was a stalemate between the two sides as shions bankai level was not enough to hold off the emmence power of the arancar, who threatened his life.

His ability was that of unimaginable power he had the power to transform into a dragon.Which earned the arrancar the title of dragon warrior.The fight ended when shions blade cut the tooth from the dragons mouth making him instantly turn back into the weak frail arrancar the battle started as. Shion was know as the Dragon champion and given the nick name of Gaia.After that things were not in anyway quiet the hollows flowed more than ever.

There number seemed to increase everyday.Shion had no time to sleep between his duities to his squad and the duities to destroy the stupid blood hungry hollows.And as such eventually fell into a great depression where he attempted to take his own life.This was stopped by the kind hand of his best friends and a few women who cried. Shion vowed to never see a woman cry again, and to this day has upheld that which he made at his fathers tombstone.He and his sword get along great they started off with no love, but through hard training and life altering situations there is none closer to him.

RP Sample:

"Shion go get the fricken ball" Zeno yelled.A blue vain popped out of his head, as his bald head began to sweat."Who the hell are you yelling at Zeno...Your lucky I dont kick your ass."Shion yelled back.The 4 foot nothing,soulreaper stood, staring at Zeno the son of the Kuchki clan.
"I wonder if you can" He yelled as the two began to fight.To anyone else it would seem the two were trying to kill each other.Only they would know the truth.This was Shion's best friend tho he was of a royal clan.It made being friends harder as Shion was never allowd over.But Zeno didnt care, he spent many of days at the Shiyi house.

The sun beat down on the two as there clothes became ragged and grass stained."You think your so good"
"Is that all you got"
"thats all your moms got"
the two slang insults back and forth while fighting eachother.The fight raged on with both grumbling neither could afford to lose here there record was not close.They had atleast 100 fights, and shion won at the most 3."I wont lose today Zeno"
Shion had lost almost every fight they had.But he never cried., he knew this was the day.Shion flipped over the long arms of his rival.And ended him up in a piledriver position."Now you see my greatest move Zeno.....My pile driver."Zeno laughed oh you think its that easy."As he spoke his legs began falling from the air back to his feet."Uh oh"Shion knew what was coming,as Zeno lifted his spiritual pressure and threw shion over his shoulders.
"Back body Drop..Zeno style"Shion fell to the ground as zeno dived on him.Getting him in his famous headlock position."Your such a loser, Shion"Zeno teased.
"Ill kill you one of these days Zeno" Shion laughed.

[Rebel Raven]

Hello, I'll be reviewing your application.

First off, lemme ask you something.

Who the hell do you think you are having the NERVE to insist your character's going to be a captain, and screw up our board?

Is our current 4th squad captain not good enough? Is that it?

Should I have to go tell the captain of 4th squad "Go to hell! You're demoted!" just coz somebody appears out of the blue and insists they're the new captain??

Heaven forbid no one else demands to be captain in their application after YOU get the position coz I'd have to tell you "Go to hell! You're demoted!" because someone did the same thing you did!!

Just WHO ARE YOU, anyhow? You've only made -1- post here! Why should we gamble on your reliability, leadership ability, RP skill, and every other factor we look for in a player of a captain to represent OUR board?

Well, since you've hit one of my pet peeves, your application will be receiving a special review!

Name: Shion Ishida

Ooh, I get it! Him being an Ishida, and being related to a canon character is supposed to make me forget the fact that we don't know you, and should foolishly trust that you'll be an excellent representative of our board as a captain?
Trust that you won't vanish mysteriously, will wow us with your RPing skill, your typing skills, and your ability to follow the rules even though you've broken several right off the bat?? <.<

Personality:
Shion is a really nice guy which throws people off because of his emmence spiritual pressure which at one point threatened to destroy the seretai.

Yay! Mary Sue ability of being stupidly powerful! What stopped him from being thrown in the Nest of Maggots for being a threat to the WHOLE FRIKKING GOTEI 13?!!

A powerlimit was placed on him even there as it had been done to those going to the world of the living,

Yay, Mary sue power cap! That's what stopped him!!

Shion loves fighting and will fight all day if permitted.

Why the HELL would a barbarian like this be allowed to lead a squad of healers? Is it coz in what ever universe your character comes from, every other squad had competent leaders, and he was given the position out of pity??

this earned him the respect of his former head captain kenpachi zaraki.

Yay, he's strong enough to fight Zaraki?! 'm guessing every other captain just LOVES him, too, huh?

The power limit put on him makes him walk around with half his potential spiritual pressure.

Pfft. Why? The other half will make the Seireitei, and everyone inside it DIE suddenly from his huge wanking power?

When he gets mad enough though the seal will break at which point the head captain of the 13 court squads will have to intervene.

Oh, how very original! He can break his own seal! ... that was sarcasm, if you missed it.
Why in the hell would the Gotei 13 waste their time on such a crappy seal?

The REAL question is, who are you to pretty much demand that the Staff who share the role of the Captain Commander hover every post you make so they can come to save the damn day when your character goes apeshit and breaks his seal like every anime protagonist ever?
Unless you thought you could NPC the Head Captain??

He loves pretty girls and will kill anyone who interferes while hes talking to one.You can usually find him easily hes where the girls are.

So he's a womanizer, too? Huzzah!

Appearance:
Shion is about 6 feet with shoes on.

OMG! WHAT IND OF SHOES?!! Are they 6 inch stiletto heels? Or 3ft tall platform shoes? Latex stripper boots? HOW FRIKKING TALL IS HE OUT OF SHOES?!!

He looks young blinding people to his true age.

Hate to break it to ya, buddy, but 147 is pretty young for a Shinigami. He's not going to impress anyone with a youthful appearance unless he looks like Yachiru.

He is very wise but also very playfull.

And loves to fight! Don't forget that! Wait, what does this have to do with how he looks, anyhow?

His styles both light and dark. As his captains robe is white. But under that he wears the clothing of the low level stealth force which is black.

Sure, why should Squad 2 have anything original all to their own?

He has long purple hair which he usually ties up it sometimes gets in the way during fighting.

Wow, something sensible!

With armor all around his body but hidden very well. the armor is heavy enough to take hits while still being light enough to move around swiftly,

yay! Mary Sue armor! We have no idea what it looks like, but screw it! You can abuse the armor card in battle and be EVEN MORE OF AN UBER FIGHTER!!!!
Does he have ANY FLAWS??

He has a I just woke up from bed kinda style which suits his reckless yet, calm nature. his eyes are usually a really dark red so they look black,but when he releases energy they turn to a lighter brown kind of colour,hes very muscular but not bulky,he could be but believes it will only sloe him down and is not willing to sacrifice power for a bit of his speed.

So he's a saiyan, too? This smacks of Dragonball Z.

Zanpakuto Spirit:
Is a carefree female spirit which has a short temper.She often scolds shion because while shes trying to teach him.Hes hitting on her or staring at her chest.She sometimes will also hit on him, but in a joking way.Its unclear what her true feelings are.As she is a spirit but the companionship and humor of shion brings a spark of intrest to a other wise boring and lonely world.She told shion her name and blushed when he told her he thought it was beautifull.

Atrocious spelling, and grammar, but at least I get the idea of what you're going for.

Zanpakuto Realm:
Her realm is a pink hell, Shion hates going there as its so girly.But hes never told her that.But he gets the feeling she might know some how.

Thanks for giving us such a lush test description! You really painted a picture for us!

... Yes, that was more sarcasm.

We don't allow pictures to replace text descriptions.

Sealed Zanpakuto:
Is a long slender sword which is gold at the hilt. However its not long enough to poke through his robe.It stays on a mechanism that shoots from his arm when needed and the sheath is nowhere to be seen untill the blade is released into its Shikai form.Shion calls it the illusion of death and if you see it in action youll know why.

Yay, you didn't give us any measurements, any real sword description, or anything but it's spring loaded gimmick and stoked your ego calling it "the sword of illusion and death" which is pretty contradictory Vs the fact he's in a squad of HEALERS as opposed to killers.

Shikai Description:
Zanpakuto Description: Shadrale is one of the few Zanpakuto that lacks a purely offensive ability, and due to this lacking, is not highly desired by any Shinigami for use. Those who do use the blade, however, find that her abilities are quite unique and useful in more ways than assumed just by knowing tid-bits of information about the sword.
main ability:Infatuation & hipnosis

Infatuation, and Hypnosis? I smell a smattering of godmod powers.

P.S. No one else can use your character's Zanpakuto.

Released Zanpakuto Looks:
The sword grows longer to become the equal of its owners legs.In this form it cant be in shions robe anymore. in order to release it one must run it along the length of their arm.While completing the phrase.

Yay! You offer up no real description of this sword. I must say, you're making a really poor impression for a wannabe captain.
What are the measurements at the least?

Shikai Abilities:
Green Cut: A remarkable ability that is usually regarded as useless when used in the wrong hands. When Shadrale cuts a plant, and removes a portion of the plant with this, the damage is rapidly healed through a shimmer of green dust that forms into whatever part was taken. This is useful for Shinigami who use plant-based attacks and want to preserve reiatsu.

Yay! I was right. A godmod ability! Something to abuse to no ends~!

I presume he can cut any plant, and heal himself? And the healing is instant? So if he fought in a forest, near a vegetable stand, or a fruit stand, or even carried a plant with him he'd be invulnerable? Not that he isn't already with his ability to destroy a frikking city just by standing in it.

I'm surprised it doesn't heal other people since you obviously don't care if there's ANY weakness to the ability at all, and he's supposed to be 4th squad captain.

What does this have to do with Infatuation and Hypnosis???

Released Zanpakuto Description:
Once released, Shadrale's appearance shifts from a simple straight blade into the more unique form the sword is most comfortable with. When released, the sword gains a few new abilities that is able to use, further increasing it's abilities.

A shikai form description in powers? So is this a second release (which is against the rules!!), or is it just in the wrong spot?

Mind Rotting Bite: When Shadrale deals damage through it's cut to an opponent, the sword damage appears as normal for 3 posts, until afterwards the wound begins to glow green and knit itself. In contrast, however, once the wound knits, poisonous spores are sent through the body that affect the mind irresistibly, making the opponent believe that the damaged body part has just rotted away. This enables the sword to be used to heal allies (albeit with a side-effect) or to 'harm' opponents while leaving them in-tact.

Yay! Another godmod ability that forces people to deal with a stupidly powerful ability that can't be resisted, defended against, or anything!

How the hell would poisonous spores heal people? How does this ability even heal anyone??

Green Memory: When Shadrale is swung, a veil of green plant-like material is left in the blade's wake, creating a sort of secondary-attack. The more consecutive swings, the more veil is left behind, and when used skillfully this can form a barrier around the user or the opponent, or penalize opponents who dodge attacks with small movements.

A deceptively simple power, but it's described so vaguely, and lacking in weaknesses that it's OBVIOUS you're going to abuse the hell out of it.

Sakura Wind: Instead of making an attack with Shadrale, the wielder may instead hold the blade up into the air and cause the various leaves on the sword to fly off in the wind, glowing pink as they do so. This ability can only be used once per thread and must be done before the sword can be used for Bankai.

Each petal releases an aphrodisiac, causing the opponent to lose their combat intent, and to see the Zanpakuto's spirit, that of the lovely dryad, instead of their opponent who is wielding Shadrale. If the opponent is female, the spirit simple shifts its appearance to appear as a stocky male. As long as the petals remain in the air, the effect remains.

You just LOVE forcing other characters to be under status effects, don't you? Control issues?

What happens when he uses this on a homosexual person? Does it comically fail as the affects don't work on them, or does it magically turn them straight? I assume with your godalmighty seireitei shaking powers, you could do the latter.

Aside from being abysmally godmod, and an obvious power player, you have too many shikai abilities which breaks ANOTHER RULE.

Bankai Description:
When Shadrale is used for Bankai, she must first have used Sakura Wind, as stated in the abilities description. Once this has been done, each flower petal multiples, and those petals multiple, and so on and so forth until an enormous tree is formed in the center of the battlefield. The tree is roughly 50ft tall with hundreds of branches that each house a smiling, partially-naked, dryad of the male or female variety depending on the opponent.

YAY! You broken ANOTHER rule in summoning minions!!

And just who decides where the center of the battlefield is anyhow?

Once this tree is created, called the Great Dryad Hollow, a variety of effects may be used...

Dryad Hypnosis: With a glance into any of the dryad's eyes, a bond is made that causes the opponent to believe that they are madly in love with the creature, and that the dryad is in love with them. Even opponents from other species are not immune to this effect, and this prevents the opponent from directly harming the tree. Any attack made to harm the tree is conflicted by the inner mind and the 'heart', making it impossible to perform.

Why the HELL is there a bankai ability in the description? And why do you insist on godmodding people into doing things?
Any Dryad you say? Does this run the risk of making people homosexual if a straight guy looks into the eyes of a male Dryad? Or woman looking into the eyes of a female Dryad?
Can it make people straight?

Seriously, you're pretty inconsiderate to the people on this board who aren't straight in ignoring them. Then again that's a blessing coz your powers would force them into situations they might not like along with everyone else.

What happens if YOUR character looks into their eyes? Is he affected, too?

Bankai Looks:

except with vines growing around it like in its shikai form

We don't accept pictures in the place of text, blockhead.

Alterations:
Dependant on the user, the tree can resemble any tree desired, and the dryad occupying it tend to each have their own appearance. The dryad commonly take seductive poses or lounge around in the tree, or running about it.

No one else can use your character's zanpakuto.

Bankai Abilities:
Dryad Hospitality: Any designated group of persons the user desires may be snatched up by the dryads and brought inside of the tree where they are catered to in every manner and allowed a rapidly induced rest. This rest heals all wounds dealt to the persons within a post that do not include de-limbing, decapitation, or similar extreme injuries. These injuries are healed over the course of 3 posts instead, and any poisons, bleeding, etc. are halted while this healing occurs.

Due to the Great Dryad Hollow's first ability, the tree will not be harmed, allowing for healing in peace, though the Shinigami using the technique is not so blessed. Any missing limbs healed by the tree gain a grainy, bark-like texture and appear brown and unhealthy. In the spring, the limb sprouts pink blossoms, in the fall the blossoms fall off, and in the winter the limb is wholly barren again. Otherwise, it functions as a normal limb.

Yay, you get to kidnap people at will, drag them into the tree, and heal them instantly or damn close to it! ANY INJURY!! Including loss of head which means he can basically defy death!!

Power playing? Yep! Godmoding? Yep! Par for the course.

Why not drag in enemies, and remove them from battle while you're at it?

Dryad Sentience: Each dryad in and on the Great Dryad Hollow has its own individual mind, capable of free-thought and will, though their personality rarely causes them to conflict with their user. The dryad themselves have no weapons, nor can they be directed to harm an opponent, but they can be asked to do other things such as retrieve things, send messages, etc. They will NOT do an action they perceive as directly harmful to them.

Oh, heaven forbid the minions harm themselves, or disobey their summoner coz they're pretty much always on the same page!!

If they have free will, they can attack anyone they want.
I wouldn't put it past you to abuse this power, too.


Hooboy, WALL OF TEXT CRITICAL HIT! I'm going ot dissect this up a bit so it's not only easier to read, but to comment on.

History/Background:
Shion began life in the fon clan his mother, a shinigami of the unique stealth force.

OOOH? He's not only an ISHIDA, he's related to the Fon family, too? WOW! He must be ULTRA IMPORTANT!!!

I've gotta point out again that being a relative to a canon character is against the rules.

And his father a quincy of the land of the living.

Yaay! He's a cross breed Quincy/Shinigami! Like we've never seen THAT before!! We've seen people try for it a lot, and it's against the rules.

In a world full of hate between the two they somehow found love.

D'awww, how unoriginal!! That's pretty much how ALL Crossbreeds happen!

The quincy and soulreeper hadnt always had there differences at one point, the two fought on the same ground they both lived for one dream to protect the innocent from there inpending doom.But there was one big difference in the way the two sides saw this should be met.The soulreepers sought peace and spiritual ballance.With the zonpacto they would first cleanse the soul of the wrong they commited as a hollow before sending them to the soul society,The quincy didnt agree and thought of it as stupid to show such a coutesy to their attackers and instead thought to only destroy them.Thus throwing off the balance of the spirit world by sending too many souls strait to the underworld.The soulreapers told the quincy many times of what their actions would result in.But sadly to no avail and so a war was declared. Shion was born on a very dark day, where his mothers sister was ordered to kill his father.In the order of the eradication of all quincy and there kind.The two had disapeared into the land of the living with their unborn child.They were trying to escape to a place they could be together and raise there family in peace without becoming involved in the two sides war. This was not the case they trusted the wrong person and this resulted in their emminent capture.

There's just so much wrong with this. I understand what you're getting at, but the spelling errors (How can you screw up Soul Reaper, and yet get it right later not but a few sentences away, anyhow?), the grammar problems, and the fact this only a PIECE of the giant glob of text messes up everything.

Shions mother Ayame Fon and Aorra Ishida. Aorra was executed on spot after attempting to stand up to the captain who came to claim his subbortinate soul reaper.And Ayame was taken back to the society after being forced from her gigai.A long trial insued with her in the repentance cell.Which was where she had her kid.With the ongoing war noone cared or noticed she was pregnat they all only assumed she put on weight.They only noticed something was out of the ordinary when shions screams shook the seretai.Shion was snatched from the floor and taken to the hospitol.And the woman died from shock and having no help.

Yay! No one guessed she was pregnant! Even with a whole squad of medics in the gotei 13!!

Yay! A stupidly powerful baby who's mere voice could be heard across a city!!

And more spelling errors, too. That goes without saying!

The infant child Shion was raised by his mothers, brother Kanna fon.Shion grew up thinking of this man as his father.And was never corrected.He was in the stealth force but wasnt a valuble member. Still his influence on them and indeed the entire soul society made him a house hold name.Not only was he well respected but his opinions and abilty to access situations made him one of the only members not born into royalty.

Funny I though the Fon family were royalty?

to speak on equal ground as a member of the noble families.

Oh, sorry, there was more to the sentence after the period! Yay random periods!!

Shion grew up idolizing him and traing relentlessly with him. Everyday he would become stronger under his influence.Eventually kana rose through the ranks and became the leader of the stealth force.The rest not only resented this decission but began to hate him. Shion was of the age of 10 when he truely began to master the fighting arts.And began going on missions with them following the head leader Yoroichi the princess.

I'm sure the Yoruichi player would appreciate not being forced to remember your character.

He became friends with another child of the same age named Soi fon. She made incredible progress and became his rival.

As the player of Soifon (And it's Soifon, not Soi Fon), I know for a fact I don't wanna have to not only remember your character but be friends with him.

That's why we have rules against being close to canon characters so people can't force others to be close to them, and be inconsiderate gits.

Eventually Shion learned the truth about the night his father was murdered while kneeling at the side of Kanna who was destroyed in a freak hollow accident.The hollow was like nothing ever seen. He had no remorse for the quincy as they were destroying the peace and wouldn't listen to reason.

Again, a confusing jumble of events.

Shions quincy power is dormant and one day may rise to the top.

Why? He's already absurdly powerful! What's the point of being a crossbreed if you're not going to immediately have the best of both worlds??

'm guessing so you can pull quincy powers out of your ass at random and WTFPWN someone. <.<

At age 15 he became a soul reaper acing exams in shunpo and swordman ship his kido needed work. He trained harder then ever taking his skills to the next level with the stealth force.

Of course he aced exams! He's got no faults what so ever!

Eventually he was given an oppertunity to work under the current leader of that division and quickly became stronger.One fatefull day his efforts were awarded with the full awakening of his shinigami powers. The shock of the event and the pure power that flowed into him.When he first met his sword Shadrale.He trained hard and hoped for this day for 50 years.But wasnt ready as his body was unable to withhold the power and he collapsed to the ground.Shion remembers the day vividly.It was raining the rain made it so nothing was visable.And in the midst stood a pretty girl.Shions eyes immediatly lit up at her beauty and he began holding her hand and trying to sweet talk her.She didnt yet reveal her identity she just smiled as she said her name.and asked him if he was ready now.He looked at her and asked her what she was talking about.She didnt respond and instead fused with him. when it happend the seretai shook and shion was unconcious for 10 years.This time was not spent doing nothing though while in his mind he trained with Shadrale every second he lived in that world for 10 years and vowed if he ever sees another flower it will be too soon. When he awoke his power was undeniable and his speed was nothing short of amazing.

So lemme get this straight. He learned the name of his zanpakuto, Shikai, AND bankai in the span of 10 years while in a coma? ... that's some serious crap.
And his muscles would have atrophied heavily as he laid there for 10 years.

He quicky rose through the ranks and became a lutenant.

Well DUH! Is there any other way for him to go up in rank but incredibly fast, and almost to the top?? Pfft.

The captain feared shions power and so he decided to attempt to kill him.

Sounds like you're ripping off Koga Kuchiki at this point.

But was nowhere near strong enough and found out the hardway.When shion cut him in half using his newly awaken powers.When he released shadrale the captain became infatuated with the spirit and the image.This was all the time shion needed.

A confusing jumble of events. And of course your character takes down captains! Why? He's stupid powerful!

I bet this leads to him becoming captain of the ... what squad was your character in again???

He was thought of as a traitor and a murderer, but after a long going investigation shion proved he was not the one who ignitated it.

Sure! Why not lack any real drama in your characte'rs life coz it's mentioned, and resolved in the same sentence!!

Though it was only circumstancial evidence, he is now the vice captain and is watched every second.

... Lieutenant IS Vice Captain! And of what squad? You screwed up history plenty so far, so why not mention a squad?

Hes also the leader of the stealth force and master of the flash step.

Of course! Why wouldn't he be in any position but the top ranked ones??

Where the hell is this in Bleach Canon history anyhow? Yoruichi was the leader of the Onmitsukido, and was pretty much immediately succeeded by Soifon who merged the Onmitsukido with squad 2.

Anything to be leader, even if it screws up canon history, huh?

He spends most of his days wondering about the fate of his fallen fathers race.

There's a library in the Seireitei for that.

And if hes destined to end the same way.

yay, another sentence fragment!

Hes in no way proud to be a quincy still he wishes he had gotten to meet his father.Shion spent many days training for wars and fighting hollows. Not many more impressive then when the Arrancar made a foolish mistake of challenging him.It was a stalemate between the two sides as shions bankai level was not enough to hold off the emmence power of the arancar, who threatened his life.

I'm surprised someone was actually stronger than your character who chould shake cities as a child, and cut down captains with the greatest of ease.

His ability was that of unimaginable power he had the power to transform into a dragon.Which earned the arrancar the title of dragon warrior.The fight ended when shions blade cut the tooth from the dragons mouth making him instantly turn back into the weak frail arrancar the battle started as. Shion was know as the Dragon champion and given the nick name of Gaia.After that things were not in anyway quiet the hollows flowed more than ever.

Yay! He got a nickname in one of the most cliché ways ever via dragon slaying!!

There number seemed to increase everyday.Shion had no time to sleep between his duities to his squad and the duities to destroy the stupid blood hungry hollows.And as such eventually fell into a great depression where he attempted to take his own life.This was stopped by the kind hand of his best friends and a few women who cried. Shion vowed to never see a woman cry again, and to this day has upheld that which he made at his fathers tombstone.He and his sword get along great they started off with no love, but through hard training and life altering situations there is none closer to him.

Of course his friends would stop him. Never mind this whole problem is resolved in sentences.

...

And just how does this guy become Captain of Squad 4? You don't say! You just assume we'll let him in.

RP Sample:

*Reads into it a bit...* sunova...
THIS IS A BLEACH BOARD!!! Not Naruto, damnit!!! Redo the WHOLE RP sample, and make it in YOUR OWN WORDS!

I'm not even going to try and read it until then as you've already battered me with hundreds of spelling errors, grammar errors, and pretty much failed miserably in every aspect of this application thanks to not reading the rules, and blew your chance at being a captain coz you just don't give a damn about the board, apparently, because you don't care about the rules, winning our trust, or anything but being stupidly powerful, and in charge.

I hope you enjoyed the review!

P.S. Fix yer frikking signature!

P.S.S.
ZOMG! GAIA THE DRAGON CHAMPION!! Pfft! This ain't Yu-gi-oh either, damnit!

[shotty]

lmao that was possibly the funniest review ive ever read im actually completly new to this and everyother site i been on you have to tell them what position ur applying for so please dont take that so personally

sorry i didnt read any rules that said any of which u pointed out were wrong i will try again but plz dont make me do another rp. there so long and pointless. i thought the whole point was to prove how good at rping you are.

[shotty]

1.ok name changed

2.power and power limit gone

3.no longer squad 4

4. lol i never said he beats zaraki just can match his itensity

5. his age would fool humans

6. sorry bout the squad 2 clothing but thats where hes from unless theres sum rule that denys that as well i assume squad2 is also the stealth force

7.would you rather me lose the armor?

8. thats not just a sayan thing i had that problem for a while too lol

9.fixed the realm,

10.sorry i dont know anything about measurements so from your hand to ur shoulder. and then when release from your hip to ur toes on a average 6 foot male

11.green cut.. has virtually no flaws except that its useless if theres no plants around. (and it has a cool down of 2 posts so you can use it every 3 posts.)

12.Mind Rotting Bite.. slashes then heals after it slashes it leaves poison in the cut it just healed,so it can help temerarally.also after the 3rd post it only creates a image in their head that they lost that limb.(can be used every other post)

13.Green Memory: This dosent too much but keep people from running away so its a closed quarters fight..depending on how many times the sword is swung is how long the veil will stay,

14.Sakura Wind:is the set up for bankai and has such dosnet have any power really except that it stops the attack of the enemie for 3 turns and if someone was homosextual they wold see what they like.lol

15. im sorry how many abilities is someone alloud.. i thought it was 3 lol sorry ill lose green cut


16.the great hollow: Sorry about the minnions thing i changed that so now its an illusion that shadrale does

17.Dryad Hypnosis: Im sorry i didnt explain this well you see shadrale makes the enemy see what it desires as far as a partner goes
and thats there because i thought it was supposed to state the main ability of it like in its shikai form
lol no shion is not effected by their suddle charms although it took alot of traing to build a tollerance


18.fixd bankai appearance

19.hospitality. he cant bring enemies in only allies and no very serious cases like loss of head or limb is out of my power
um healing takes 3 posts in the seriousest of case. and can only be used every 3 posts

20.Dryad Sentience:gone

history
21. ill change the fon thing sorry

22.I dont wanna use the quincy powers unless im alloud i just thought it would be cool

23.sorry about the spelling mistakes i was kind of in a rush i will do that again

24.i messed that up i didnt mean to say he was so powerfull he shook the seretai. i mean like the commotion shook the seretai.snd noone had time to care about that they were trying to destroy the quincy and the hollows and such

25.noone has to remmeber me i never was close to her like soifon was. just one of the nobodys that protected her

26.i assume ur soifon from that remark.. ud love shion if you got to know him lol but its unimportant ill take that out.

27. no i cant use the quincy powers at all just a intreting character thing

28. yea he has faults like anyone else hes not good at kido.and his incredible love of woman cold end up getting him murdered by one lol

29.no i never said he learned bankai there he learned her name and trained with her. and learned shikai.. is 10 years too much i can change that but maybe he got physically weaker but mentally and spirtually stronger

30. whos koga kuchik?

31. zaraki did it and he dosent even know his swords name. i think it stands to reason. i mean captains lose all the time

32.yep he became the captain

33,it was a long trial but i just thought id sum it up

34.i took out that about vice captain that was a mistake like i said i was in a hurry

35.well i figured the bleach history wasnt that important but i dont need to be the leader i dont care i do however wanna be master of the flash step thats so cool

36.lol sorry bout the dragon slaying i thought it was cool and i was in a rush

37.he became the captain by killing the captain like zarakii

38.The rp is in my own words and writing that much was torture besides are you really telling me that eveyone who makes an app uses bleach as an rp sample or are you just picking on me because you hate me lol

39. you noticed that about gaia huh lol i thought that would be a fun thing for the mod who seen this

40.thats not true at all i have nothing but respect for the board and want nothing more then to become a player. i dont care about being ridicolously powerful.id be a child in the anging dog district i dont care but id rther get to show my skills as a captain give me the chance and i wont let you be disapointed. if i suck fire me its simple lol. but i think ima pretty good rper and very active. i dont wish you to treat me any different but plz dont make snap decisions about me mistakes are made whats important is we can get over them and become friends. sorry if i made a bad first immpression(bows)

[shotty]

ok all done also i dont know y but when someone responds to this thing i dont get the email is there a reason for this?

[Rebel Raven]

Post ONCE after a review, and only to say that you've made the edits.
IF there's need for more than that, edit the original post.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you didn't try to bump this app several times.

As for being e-mailed when a response is made, Have you looked in your options? It certainly is not automatic.

Moving on, especially to,

23.sorry about the spelling mistakes i was kind of in a rush i will do that again

Kindly do not rush an application. The worse it looks the less likely it'll be approved. Further, this site has a spell check feature.
Also your grammar is still terrible.

Lets address a few of your comments.

5. his age would fool humans

That would go for any shinigami, arrancar, or vizard since they age differently, and none of them have a 1/1 aging rate to humans.

6. sorry bout the squad 2 clothing but thats where hes from unless theres sum rule that denys that as well i assume squad2 is also the stealth force

You were so busy making your character virtually flawless that I had to comment.
Not being an Onmitsukido member and wearing one of their outfits might lead to confusion.

7.would you rather me lose the armor?

Considering you don't give us any idea how strong it is, what it looks like, and a vast number of details other than having it and it allows for mobility, yes, remove it.
All I can gather is it's there to be used, and possibly abused.

11.green cut.. has virtually no flaws except that its useless if theres no plants around. (and it has a cool down of 2 posts so you can use it every 3 posts.)

Powers being "virtually flawless" is the problem.

15. im sorry how many abilities is someone alloud.. i thought it was 3 lol sorry ill lose green cut

It's in the Application/Powers FAQ.

18.fixd bankai appearance

Remove Bankai altogether, it's not happening for your first character as per the bankai ammendment. You've already proven an inability to balance powers on top of that.

22.I dont wanna use the quincy powers unless im alloud i just thought it would be cool

No, you're not getting cross breed powers.

25.noone has to remmeber me i never was close to her like soifon was. just one of the nobodys that protected her

You're not rewriting the memories/history of a canon character, and you're certainly not doing it to Soifon since you never sought permission. Soifon has also never been seen in canon using bodyguards.

26.i assume ur soifon from that remark.. ud love shion if you got to know him lol but its unimportant ill take that out.

Sarcasm. You've endeared your character to virtually everyone in the Soul Society which is rather Mary Sue.

28. yea he has faults like anyone else hes not good at kido.and his incredible love of woman cold end up getting him murdered by one lol

Very minor faults.

31. zaraki did it and he dosent even know his swords name. i think it stands to reason. i mean captains lose all the time

Your character is not Zaraki. Just because a canon character did it doesn't mean your character gets to do it, too.

32.yep he became the captain

No, he isn't. You've done absolutely nothing to earn the privilege of being captain.

35.well i figured the bleach history wasnt that important but i dont need to be the leader i dont care i do however wanna be master of the flash step thats so cool

... Bleach history is very important in this game because it's a Bleach board.
"Master" is a strong word. You can certainly have an "advanced" in it, but you won't be matching captains in speed, I can guarantee that. Stronger opponents will be able to move faster, and be more alert to your characters Shunpo.

Honestly, the inability to balance your powers has proven you need practice as far as this board's concerned, and have done nothing to allay the notion you'll be abusing the character.

38.The rp is in my own words and writing that much was torture besides are you really telling me that eveyone who makes an app uses bleach as an rp sample or are you just picking on me because you hate me lol

EVERYONE writes their own sample post individual to the application, and it always involves their character. It helps prove they actually wrote it.

40.thats not true at all i have nothing but respect for the board and want nothing more then to become a player. i dont care about being ridicolously powerful.id be a child in the anging dog district i dont care but id rther get to show my skills as a captain give me the chance and i wont let you be disapointed. if i suck fire me its simple lol. but i think ima pretty good rper and very active. i dont wish you to treat me any different but plz dont make snap decisions about me mistakes are made whats important is we can get over them and become friends. sorry if i made a bad first immpression(bows)

The first impression still sticks. Your spelling is horrid, your grammar is horrid, and they remain that way. You disregarded our rules completely which is a very dire offense.

Further, you cannot balance powers as you force effects on people, have irresistible effects, and generally have zero consideration for the people who'd be your opponents. What good is having uber powers if no one wants to fight you coz you have uber powers, and don't care about the opponent's character?

You are far from the standards we have for captains, you have no special privilege to start off any better or worse than everyone else, and so your character will not be a captain of anything. It's as simple as that.

If any of this is a problem speak up. If not, then I'll review the application.

[Shinigami Kyra]

No bankai; Bankai Amendment's still in effect.

[shotty]

thats cool.. did you notice that i took out the super powers thing also i put limits on the sword..far as bankai i thought u were supposed to put it tho u cant use it yet.. or thats wat it says on the sheet i read.well if not captain can i be lutenat lol

[shotty]

also as far as the powers ive never played this game.so i dont know wat kind of kick ass powers were exepted. if you have any suggestions for there limitations you only need tell me.saying i put irreversible status effects and things like that is wrong.if he cuts them it makes sence he could poison.kayai the bount palalzed with a touch,but like i said i dont know how extreme the powers are supposed to be....and also it seems my earlier comment was unnoticed i didnt say i demand to be captain,but since there was nothing that said you have to start off as the lowest characters first i just applied to be captain.But if thats not ok then i apologize.Just please, tell me where i can be.

(sorry i just read your thing about posting once after review....wont happen again.)

[Otahu]

Right!

Raven works very hard for this site, very hard. I'm not going to watch her be forced to take time out of her life to have to handle this. Your blatant disregard to the rules and blatant disregard to Raven is more than I am willing to bear.

This app is being Locked and moved to Unacceptable. I will not sit here and justify mods or admins wasting their time on someone who won't even read a FAQ before applying for a Captain of a Gotei that has a Captain already.

I accept all punishments and scoldings of Kyra and Raven.

Thank you.

Please drive through.