With the Captains suffering casualties and heavy injuries on their side, all hope seemed to be lost... until Shinji Hirako appeared, along with the rest of the former Shinigami. Though the aid of the Vizards certainly helped to draw the battle in their favor, it seemed Aizen's power alone proved too much for them.
Post by Shinigami Kyra on Sept 2, 2010 11:07:46 GMT -5
Lots and lots of grammatical errors make it difficult to read. Run on sentences too.
One example; Hmm I wonder why Kitsune held back with that punch maybe were getting along better. I think you mean "we're" not "were." There's several things like this (this is also a run-on sentence) throughout your application that pretty much makes it very difficult to understand. I suggest copying the application and pasting it into Word. While Microsoft Word doesn't catch all grammar problems, it would fix the most common and 'makes my eyes bleed' mistakes.
Horeru Tsuki-Howling Moon - You did nothing but add a single sentence to the end of it, which doesn't help at all. Take a look at the sample application for a Vizard and read the Tier description for abilities.