Arrancar - Lilith - MLS

[Sam]

Name: Lilith Kepler
Age: Unknown; Looks 12
Gender: Female
Personality:

Lilith is an overprotective, hyperactive, easily distracted girl. When she has grown an attachment to someone, she holds on to it no matter what. Even if you don't like it, or even want it. She enjoys teasing those closest to her and has even been known to be pervertive a little. She talks so fast that sometimes you don't even know what she said. When she talks to someone new she bluntly point out something weird or off about you, though it may be rude. She is self cautious around women with big breast, only because she is flatchested.
When she is in a fight she becomes rough, antisocial, and has a bad attitude. She resents weakness and especially requiring others help to win. While she has reluctantly teamed up with others, she isn't above harming them to protect her from greater force.

Hobbies include messing with her "brother", eating, collecting bugs, eating, collecting shining objects, and did I mention eating. (She's been known to eat a whole horse once.)

Appearance:

Eye: Light purple w/ icy gleam
Skin: Light peach
Ht: 4' 6" Wt: 90lbs
Hair: Black; Style: long and straight in front, Short and feathery in back.

Hollow Remains: A tear drop in the middle of her forehead and three loops in each ear. (They look like ear rings)
Hollow hole: on her lower back, only visible from the back (look to unifrom for more info).

She wears a white uniform with slightly longer sleeves and pant legs that bell bottom a little. Her back is the only exposed area on her uniform, (other then he head, hands, and feet) at the lower back area showing her hollow hole. Her front is covered by her uniform, and is oten asked why she hides the front of her hollow hole, but not the back. She just tells them to mind thier own business and leaves t at that. Her sash is black and ties off to the right side of her body. She wears wooden sandals that have one plank on the bottom, rather then two. She has a beaded necklace around her neck that change color depending on her mood. She is flatchested, she's not proud of this, and is seen staring at peoples 'flaws'.

Arrancar Powers:

Lilitih has the ability to create small spiraling vortexes with her Zanpakuto. By doing certain dance moves she can create a small pocket dimensional portal, able to take small attacks to a different area. The vortexes are small and can't stop more powerful attacks or people. The strongest attack she was able to suck in her vortex was a Gillian class Cero. Anything more then that she'll have to put more reiastu into it causeing her to lose half of what she could do with the vortexes. So if she could do 6 more, then after sucking in the stronger blast she'll only be able to do three more. Plus she can't continually use this power because it drains a lot of energy. So she is limited to 12 a day. She is able to put these vortexes in various spots, like traps they suck you in and it's hard to get out . The suction is as strong as an F1 tornado, so anyone well footed could resist the suction. They could even out run it if they wanted to. Once your in them you have to disrupt the vortex by two means to escape. One, you can flow your reiastu through it or two, you can distract Lilith from concentrating. She can also move small objects through the vortexes and transport it to her. She can't do this with people or things attached to anything for the vortexes are to small to fit anything larger then it. Anything loose is fair game. The largest thing she can transport is a 2x3x2 wooden crate. If a person manages to go into the vortex they'll just end up suspended in the pocket dimension fo about 30 seconds until spat out. If someone is in the pocket dimension, Lilith can't close it until they're out.

Natural Arrancar Powers:

Here is the list of powers that are stronger then her other powers:

Enhanced Strength: Lilith has shown great leaps of strength, despite her size. She is able to lift an adult male African elephant.

Cero: Is purple in color and can be fired from anyone of her fingers.

Garganta: It literally tears open the dimensional fabric separating the worlds, revealing a tunnel of whirling, torrential energy that must be focused and solidified to create a discernible pathway. She can make it large enough to fit 12 Arrancar.

Zanpakuto's name:

Equinox

Un-released Zanpakuto's Appearance:

Equinox resembles a hula hoop, but has several blades around it. The blades are black and have purple tribal designs on them. One section has no blade but rather an open space so Lilith can carry it. She uses her Zanpakuto as a toy and a weapon. Her fighting style consists of moving her weapon around her body, much like a child would play with a hula-hoop. She has also been known to pull people toward it and impaling them.

Resurrección Release phrase::

Spiral Equinox

Resurrección Appearance::

When Lilith enters her resurreccion from, she doesn't change much. She gains a more adult version of herself. She grows 2 feet, and looks like she weighs 125lbs. Her breasts finally grow in, which aren't that impressive maybe a double C-cup at best. Her hollow remains grow sharper in appearance and she has face markings under her eyes. The markings are purple eyeliner like marks and connect up to her dot. She also grows two extra arms to help with her fighting. She also retains a weapon in this form, but rather then one single hoop blade, it separates into four smaller versions. With them, she orbits them around her and uses them for defense or to attack.

Resurrección Abilities::

In this form her powers are increased and she is able to perform one new attack.

Spiral Cero: With this attack, Lilith absorbs massive amount of reiastu by forming several vortexes around her with her Zanpakuto and then firing it at her opponent. By outstretching her four arms in different directions, the Zanpakuto start spinning creating a reiastu vacuum. With this vacuum going she can't defend herself, but it does cause a massive suction, absorbing any ambient reiastu into her Zanpakuto. Within one minute she has enough energy to release the Spiral cero, a multicolored energy beam that would be confused with the Gran Rey Cero or the Final Attack of the Quincy Final Form. It is not that powerful, but can still cause heavy damage if it connects. After she releases the beam she reverts back to her original form, weak, tired, and very hungry.

Skill Level: Kidou: Advanced
Skill Level: Swordsmanship: Intermediate
Skill Level: Sonido: Advanced
Skill Level: Hand-to-hand: Beginner
History/Background:

As a Gillian, Lilith left the group and wandered Heuco Mundo devouring any reiastu she could get. She attracted a lot of attention in her day. Having Shinigami hunting her down, it only stopped when she devoured a Lt. When that happened she evolved into a smaller class a Menos Grande.

When she was Adjaudas Class, Lilith was confused at why she was much smaller then the average one. They always tried to hunt and eat her, but because of her size they could never catch her. She even managed to eat a few herself, without being caught. When she got stronger she started to develop her powers. She discovered she could create small vortexs,and teleport any where she could think of in Heuco Mundo. After she mastered this power, she traveled to the human world. There she was hunted by an old foe, Shinigami. She didn't know why they hunted her, but it really didn't matter, she ate them anyways. The more she ate the more she grew, evolved. Then she encountered humans dressed in white. They called themselves ‘Quincy’ and they hunted her as well. "Why does everyone I encounter want to hurt me?" She always wondered this and never found the answer. They hunted her relentlessly. They stopped after the Shinigami came, and battled. It was a war, or maybe a massacre. The Shinigami killed several Quincy and seemed to leave her alone. That’s when she got sick of the Human world and went back to the Hueco Mundo. There she was bored out of her mind, no one to call friend. So she went on a see first, eat then crusade. Then one day she met a Vasto Lorde and attacked him. They fought for several days neither giving an inch, but in the end Lilith was defeated. Laying their, waiting for him to finish her off, he just came and licked her wounds. Confused, she asked "Why?"

"Because," he said to her as she laid there “you are the future of this world and you need to live." Being inspired by these words she proclaimed that this Vasto Lorde to be her brother and she would never leave his side. She traveled with him despite his objections and learned many new things. Then one day as she awoke to the never changing sky of Heuco Mundo, she saw that he disappeared and she searched for him with no end in sight. So, when she became an Arrancar she developed her abilities and continued her long search for her 'Brother'. She traveled most of Heuco Mundo, in search of her adopted brother, finding many strange wonders and objects. So, she decided that her brother was in the one place she hasn't looked, Los Noches. She headed toward Los Noches, not knowing if she'll find her 'brother' and hoped she'll find some interesting stuff.

RP Sample:

'YAAAAawwwwn' Lilith let out a huge yawn. Wandering the desert was boring work.

"Where could he be?" Lilith wondered as she walked the white sands. With every step, she grew more bored and more tired until she spotted something glimmering in the sand.

"OOOOOOO" she said as she watched the object run across the sands. Lifting her hand she made a small vortex underneath the object and teleported it to her. The object was small and shining. It looked like a small ball made of glass.

'What is this?' she thought to her self. ''I don't have a clue but its shining and I like it!" She proclaimed this aloud causing anyone in shouting distance to hear.

The ground started to shake moments later with several heads popping out.

"WHAAA???" Lilith screamed as she saw several bodies pop from the ground. About three low class Gillian came out the ground and suddenly attacked Lilith.

"Go away I'm not in the mood for this", she told the Gillian. They didn't listen, but instead continued their attack on Lilith.

"I warned you, now face my wrath." Lifting her hands Lilith started danceing in a way like a ballarina with her Zanpakuto and made several small vortexes in the ground. As the Gillian ran toward her two of them had their feet caught. Clapping her hands in a manner like those who samba, she severed the feet from the Gillian. "AHHHHHHHH", they screamed in pain as Lilith started to enjoy herself.

Then Lilith felt a reiastu nearby. "I liked to play with you guys a little longer, but it seems I've found someone more interesting to play with." As she said this to the Gillians, she Sonido toward the reiastu she felt.

'I hope it is him, the one I've been looking for. It has been so long since I've seen him. I hope he remembers me." Lilith thought as she Sonido toward the unknown reiastu.

[kenpachi]

Yo, name's Kamair, and I'll be reviewing your app today.

The first thing I'd like to point to is the spell check button on the bottom of every post 'box' persay. It's a very useful button and will help me understand you a lot better.

The second thing I would like to point out is your grammar, please be careful about this, and make sure that the words you are using actually mean what you want them to.

These are extremely minor details, but it helps greatly if you pay attention to these three areas.

Appearance

Her back is only exposed at the lower back area showing her hollow hole.

Sorry buddy, but I'm going to need details about this. You see, with Hollow, the hole generally reaches through the being's entire body, creating a real hole in the midst of their bodies. If you are saying that that is not the case with your character, then I'm going to need a little more background. However, if you mean that the hole is just being covered by clothes in the front, then that's fine. Please clarify on this certain issue.

Arrancar Powers

She manipulates gravity at will, pushing or pulling objects.

Hmm... sounds like telekinesis to me. Is it alright if I guess this is a Jean Gray crossover? Hmm... I guess we'll see. The whole moving objects with her mind thing. Okay then... I am not going to lie to you man. This particular... power... you don't seem to give it much of a limit, which isn't really going to fly. Let me explain.

By using this technique as a defensive measure, most, if not all, attacks directed to the user will be deflected, no matter the size or mass. The downside to this power is that there is a short period when it is unusable after being used, though only for roughly ten seconds, and uses alot of reiastu.

Okay so, I like the limit that you've attempted to place on this defensive attribute, but there's not really enough to let it pass. So, she can basically stop a bankai straight attack with the use of her mind. So like, if Ichigo uses his Getsuga Tensho with his hollow mask on and in bankai... she can deflect it... with her mind. That's something... hell I wouldn't trust the best RPer in the world with. Also, this is based on gravity right? So it should only be physical attacks, right? Please specify.

Uses a lot of reiastu, how much is much? Does it mean she can only use it once before passing out? twice? one-hundred-and-twenty-three times? Not giving me much here.

If one is sufficiently rooted to the ground, the repulsive forces can be resisted.

Aside from my character, who is literally a tree... I don't know anyone who roots themselves into a ground. In fact, rooting oneself into the ground is generally considered a weakness. It also looks to me as if you've given yourself the authority to throw characters around like rag dolls... not okay.

She can create a gravitational field that smashes the opponents' body to the ground. This is used to prevent opponents from counterattacking, or when she is bored. This power is very hard to maintain when the victom is much stronger then Lilith.

Woah woah woah... hold your horses. First of all, it better be friggen hard to maintain when the victim is stronger then Lilith. Second of all, it should be damn near impossible in the first place. You mean to say that you intend to immobilize characters completely without lifting a finger? I'm not liking that idea, sounds a lot like god-moding.

Natural Arrancar Powers

Cero: Is purple in color and can be fired from anyone of her fingers. She has been known to hold her opponent down with her gravtainal feild and fire it at them.

No. I'm sorry but auto-hitting someone with something as strong as a Cero is ridiculous and out of the question. This is why I would have denied to auto-immobilization in the first place.

Sonido: Because she is known to form attachments with unwilling people; she developed her sonido to the point where she can get to point A to point B in a maters of seconds.

First of all, I don't know how forming attachments with unwilling people has anything to do with sonido. I'm really not drawing the connection there. Secondly, point A to point B is how long now? If it's like ten feet, then that's hellishly slow. If it's like... across the world... then no. That would be teleportation.

Resurrección Abilities

Her repulsive gravity ablity can be used on a larger scale for massive destruction. Before it can be used, she must be able to cocentrate with no distractions.
The massive gravity well is created above the target, crushing everything beneath in a titanic explosion. Using it on this scale shortens her reiastu and forces her to leave her Resurrecion form.

Alright, how long does it take to concentrate on this ability? One second? Secondly... a titanic explosion, above the target. So umm... how would one possibly survive this attack?

Would you give them the object of dodging it? Because of course, you can hold them down and all. So basically, whoever you're fighting, at this point... is screwed. If they haven't been screwed the entire fight already.

RP Sample

She created a massive gravatinal field around the Gillians. As they moved in, the gravity around them caused them to slow down and eventually froce them in place.
"Like shotting fish in a barrel." LIlith said as she charged her Cero on her right index finger.

You're right, it is like shooting fish in a barrel. The power to immobilize and throw around anybody is pretty much like the most OP thing I can think of. I mean, what the hell could... Gin do if he were faced with this ability? His stinking extendo blade would just be pushed back, he would be immobilized, and then he would eat a cero to the face!

Redo your powers. Pretty please.

When you have made the changes that i have asked for, please post here again to receive another reveiw.

[Sam]

First off, thank you for the great suggestions. I knew some of this stuff was off and over powering, so I just needed some help with it. I would also like to point out I did mention in her appearance that her uniform covers most of her body except her lower back. Now about her powers, I've looked over your suggestions and made some changes.
She can now only repel and attract physical matter. So any energy based objects or attacks still hit her. I also made to where instead of forcing them in place with her field, it now just slows them down. For some reason my spell check button doesn't seem to work in the Apps section, so I did my best and check it myself. So heres to attempt #2.

[Rebel Raven]

Hello, I'll be taking over for Kamair for this application.

You don't explain the hollow hole well enough. Why is it only visible from the back? It's traditional that they be either all the way through, or non existant. They can be covered up.
Unfortunately I don't grasp what the nature of your character's hollow hole is.

Another problem is, honestly, the whole gravity thing. it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to create powers with it that aren't powerplaying, or godmod.

the bigger problem is you still haven't found the proper route to make gravity not godmod.

After all, no organic materials include possibly clothes, and potentially, zanpakuto steel. You could still pin a person down, and godmod them with unavoidable hits.

I offer several bits of advice.

1: think about the feelings of who you're going to fight when making powers. after all, if you were them, would you want to fight -your- character? Probably not if they can be debilitated, and crushed at a whim with no real way to prevent it.

2: My advice? Drop gravity all together. Either the power will be OP, or it won't be useful, IMO. why? Gravity is a cosmic level force. It rules the universe. It keeps things in check.
Without limits your character could throw the earth into the sun, or rocket people off the planet by their inorganic clothes, and zanpakuto.

so, yeah, pick another power, and keep my advice in mind, please?

[Sam]

Alright, it seems that the hollow hole thing is confusing some people. I thought I explained it better but I guess I just didn't do a good job. So here we go: Her hollow hole can only be seen from the back because her uniform exposes that area. It covers the front of the hole not the back, I'm pretty sure I said that in the appearance section. I'm not trying to be rude or anything like that it's just that I made a note in that section and it feels like no read very well, maybe it's just me. I'll try to explain it better in attempt three.

[Rebel Raven]

Please add that the fornt of the uniform covers the front of the hllow hole. I get what you mean, but it has to be in the application.

A lot of characters wear uniforms that the hole goes through.

You'll have to elaborate on the "oasis" found by your character because there's absolutely no water in Hueco Mundo that isn't made by someone.
How Aizen makes his tea is a mystery.

Teleportation is a taboo power. It's got to go. there's almost no way to not abuse it, especially in combat which is the biggest problem.

I'll have to get a second opinion on the other powers.

[Sam]

I took out teleportation altogether. On the oasis thing, if Lilith gets approved I plan on making a side post all about the oasis and its mystery.

[Rebel Raven]

We need to know about that before you go reshaping the world and adding landmarks.
Until the secret's out, this app won't be allowed.
You can PM the secret to me, or talk about it here, regardless good players will stil have their characters in the dark about it so In Character, the secret'll be safe regardless.

[Sam]

Alright, I think I got everything in order.

[Rebel Raven]

" She is able to put these vortexes in verious spots, like traps they suck you in and it's hard to get out. Once your in them you have to disrupt the vortex by two means. One, you can flow your reiastu through it or two, you can distract Lilith from concentrating. If you do the latter, make sure you do it fast, because she will sever your limb before you can get out. She can also move small objects through the vortexes and transport it to her. She can't do this with people or things attached to anything. Anything loose is fair game. The largest thing she can transport is a 2x3x2 wooden crate. "

I don't remember this part. We don't know how powerful the suction is, and if she can't handle even a menos Grande Cero, how can she hope to overpower someone who could, theoretically defeat a Menos Grande?

Further practically guarenteed limb severing sounds kinda godmodey regardless.

If she can't transport people, what happens when people go into the vortex? Do they DIE?! If they die, then that's outright godmoding, and an inherently lethal ability which isn't allowed.

The Enhanced strength is quite a lot.

"Lilith also uses this technique to generate make-shift vortexes to draw opponents into her pocket dimensional portals to sever their limbs."
Kinda rough ain't it? Would YOU want your limbs severed by someone you're fighting so easily?
No?
Then why are you inflicting it on other people?