Why We Hate Shopping [Muffin; Ask]

[Wicked]

Szayel chuckled as the girl brought up a lost and found at the front counter. If it were that easy, he would already have dragged the vizard to Las Noches.

"Oh, you misunderstand - I didn't lose a piece of merchandise," he laughed, rolling his hand dismissively. Unless one considered test subjects merchandise, it was true. Once again, his amber eyes passed over the sales racks, searching for that vizard. He wondered what she might be doing here in the first place - she certainly didn't dress as if clothes or shoes or jewerly interested her.

"There's a sale going on right now for men's formal wear," the human girl said, recapturing Szayel's attention. "All dress shirts, ties, and ascots are 25% off."

It wasn't a phrase that Szayel was used to - off of what? The thread count? That seemed like something that no one would want to advertise. Nevertheless, it would give him a moment to figure out how he would remove the damned gigai that other pushy salesperson had shoved him into.

"Very well," he drawled smoothly. Perhaps wherever the girl went would give him a better view of the store - one suitable for finding runaway vizards. Absently he asked, "I don't suppose you've any suggestions?"


"Wow...I don't think she knows he's dangerous," Kaki murmured as Hotaru flipped through another rack. As with before, Hotaru's selections were frilly and often pink - didn't she get that Kaki hated pink? - and Kaki only found things too big or too stiff. She liked her old clothes...why did Xuan have to ruin them?

"Maybe this," Hotaru chirped, producing a black pair of shorts. Kaki shook her head.

She didn't want people to see her legs - they were all bruised and cut up all the time from stumbling around her mountain. She didn't like looking bruised and cut up - normal people sometimes asked what was wrong. And besides - when winter came she'd get cold, wouldn't she? Obviously Kaki didn't understand the concept of owning more than one set of clothes.

"Ehhhh, what about this?" the little girl murmured, pulling a pair of blue track pants. Blue she didn't mind. It didn't really blend into the mountain, but...

"With that shirt? It'll clash!"

"I don't care - I just wanna goooo," Kaki groaned, hanging her head dejectedly. "If we stay too long...he might hear us or see us and then I can't get away cause I'm too slow or he's too fast or something!"

"Then be quiet."

[Muffin]

"Oh, you misunderstand - I didn't lose a piece of merchandise,"

Yugito scratched her head again. So this crazy man didn't lose an item? What did he lose, a child? Actually, that would've been wrong...he didn't look like he'd be a...father type. In fact, she would've thought he'd be the guy that drives around in a white van with the words "FREE CANDY" scrawled on the side with marker.

Of course she'd never let him know that.

"Well, if you're missing...a child, you could go to the front cash and notify them. They can do a store-wide announcement to alert the other staff. If the child is still in the store, we would find them."

She was about to continue with explaining how the process of going up to the counter and asking for them to announce a missing child, a process some customers did have problems with in the past, when the pink-haired customer agreed on going with her to see the sale on men's formal wear.

She knew it. He was gay. Her gaydar was in perfect working order, as usual.

"Um, okay then, follow me."

Yugito began to walk towards the escalators, taking them to the second floor of the department store, where racks and racks of clothing of different sizes and for different genders. Large signs proudly displaying the aforementioned sale littered the area as Yugito navigated through the maze-like second floor.

"Here we go. Men's formal wear. Tuxedos are over there. Ties are here, and scarves are here..." she said, turning to the man. Giving him a standard once-over, she tilted her head slightly. "Your hair is pink...maybe you should stay away from that colour."

[Wicked]

It was inconceivable that the girl actually knew that Szayel was missing a child - who wasn't really a child, if one took into account the slow aging of spiritual beings - so he assumed it was a common occurrence. Well, save for the child really being about a century old. He smirked knowingly - perhaps he would bring more than one subject back to his lab.

Along with some rather interesting clothes that they didn't make in Las Noches. He would have to investigate this.

"Here we go. Men's formal wear. Tuxedos are over there. Ties are here, and scarves are here. Your hair is pink...maybe you should stay away from that color."

Something about the human giving him advice bothered him. Most likely that she was centuries younger than he, and yet telling him how to dress. His eyes narrowed, and he glared at her. "Oh? And what makes you think I would make such a juvenile mistake?"


"This," Hotaru suggested, holding out another skirt. It was frilly, and covered with a floral pattern, though it was black and the flowers were all orange. "It would match nicely."

Still, Kaki shook her head. "I don't wanna wear a skirt."

"You're impossible!"

Kaki pursed her lips as she flipped through another rack, unconsciously lowering to her knees. Somewhere, there was a pair of coarse black or brown pants or something that wouldn't clash - more specifically pants that would be comfortable but not bother Hotaru too much. She found a pair of gray slacks, but they were too stiff and she knew they would be uncomfortable. "How do humans find anything in these stores?"

"That's the point, Nee-san. They're supposed to buy things they weren't looking for. You're just picky."

[Muffin]

"Oh? And what makes you think I would make such a juvenile mistake?"

Yugito scratched the back of her neck. How would she explain the fact that she thought a man such as him, and by that she meant totally fruity, usually liked matching colours, and with a hair so obnoxiously pink as his, she thought he'd have wanted to match his clothes with it.

"Sometimes...um, we get customers who like matching colours," she began slowly, trying to put the words together to make it sound...not as offensive as it sounded in her head, "And they look for colours that'll make them stand out. It doesn't really work though, and sometimes it just looks really tacky."

The thought for a moment, "Tan, I think would work well with pink. Or deep blue, something like navy. And, you can never really go wrong with black or white."

It might have been surprising to some, but Yugito did have some knowledge on the colours of a fashion colour wheel. It was something she picked up in Poland, and a useful skill to have the the future.

Dead or alive, it never hurt to look good.

[Wicked]

"Tacky?" Szayel repeated dully, stepping up to a rack and flipping through it. He would certainly have to remove the gigai in order to effectively take the girl away. It would be obnoxious if humans started to intervene. Come to think of it, he had no idea how to get out of it. It wasn't of his making, and so he really wasn't sure. Maybe if he wiggled a little, or exerted some reiatsu...no, it didn't help.

And that man's gigai were horribly itchy.

"I've plenty of white in my wardrobe," Szayel remarked casually. He was still working out how he would remove the gigai. Perhaps he could simply sonido out of it. "This," he murmured, removing a violet dress shirt and turning it in his hands, regretting that he found anything of a human's design appealing, "Would go nicely..."

He continued to flip through the racks, just a little too interested in finding the proper clothing to match.


"Nope," Kaki said as Hotaru held out a pair of white pants. She hated white too. She pulled a pair of green sweatpants off of the rack and held them up to her. They seemed to be the right size...

"No! Don't wear green if you have green hair," Hotaru insisted.

"Well you wear black with black hair!"

"It's not the same!" Hotaru insisted, her cheeks puffing indignantly. "Now find something so we can go to the candy section!"

"That's why you won't let me leave!?" Kaki hissed, pulling a pair of pants quite similar to her last pair off the rack without realizing it. "Because you wanted to get candy? There are a million candy stores here!"

She started to walk, holding the shirt over her shoulder and the pants in her hands. She walked up to a window, braced herself, and prepared to jump through. Then Hotaru stopped her, placing her hands on Kaki's shoulders. "Wait! You have to try on your clothes now."

"Eh? No I don't!" Kaki said, frowning. "I've got a shirt...oh, I guess I have some pants too."

"Now...candy."