Shinigami - Kennori Satoru

[neokenpachi]

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In Character

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General Information
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Name: Kennori Satoru (nickname Kenny)
Actual Age: 167
Appearing Age: 17
Gender: Male

Appearance
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media.photobucket.com/image/anime%20man/Dark-Angel-Ly/eh.jpg

Kennori Satoru wears a shihakusho with torn sleeves, underneath he wears wide jeans also with torn ends he wears skate like shoes and because of that he has excellent balance and grip on almost every surface. His outfit has torn ends because of his wild hobby, when he is of duty he likes to go skating through the Seireitei, he mostly falls when he tries to gap an enormous stair or end up riding against a dead-end. Therefor he has numerous amount of scars on his arms and legs. Almost every other Shinigami in the Seireitei is annoyed by this, because he doesn`t really look where he is going.

He is about 190cm(6.2 feet) high and 90 kilo(198 lbs) and his arms are average muscled but he has powerful legs, he can jump higher then the average shinigami and run faster, but when he fights he rather fight with his arms then his legs. He has a slim body build, therefor most enemy's thin hes weak and underrated his fighting ability, what is a huge mistake because his father thought him how to fight since he was a young teenager. Most enemy`s face defeat and death by there mistake of underrating him. But if he thinks that the fight is to quick he will hold back and telling his opponent to go all out, and (if he fights against a Shinigami) he wants them to release there Sinkai. Kennori only calls for his Zanpakutō if he thinks his opponent became stronger then him without Sinkai. He always tries to end fights creatively and almost never the same way.

He has deep red eyes what most people find him mysterious about Kennori, while he thinks that theres nothing mysterious about him. His black hair almost touches his shoulders. His Zanpakutō is positioned on his back, the hilt is above his left shoulder and the point of his blade ends right of his hip. His Skateboard is mostly attached to the Zanpakutõ holder.

Personality

Kennori is a rather shy person in a new environment, he is on the background and you wouldn't even notice him, he observe the environment till he knows all about it, then his shyness faints away in an eye blink. He is a sensitive man to the people that he likes, he wont fight with them, but for the people that he doesn`t like its a rather different story, he will easy challenge them. His shyness has developed through the years of being bullied in the academy, he was mostly bullied because of is abnormal red eyes. But still he trust most people fast.

Kennori loves to skateboard and love to have as much fun as possible and he has a weird sense of fun, he has a kinda sadistic way of humor, what is not really fitting his personality towards other nut fits his fighting style excellent, making him laugh while fighting and enjoys himself. Random violence pisses him off and he mostly defend the victim.

History

Kennori was born in a mid class Rukon district, his parents where from the world of the living. his first years where like any other little child. unless he sometimes cried of hunger that indicated that he developed some spiritual pressure. In the district where he grew up not many had spirit power, his father had a little amount of spirit power but far of enough to become a shinigami his mother had non at all, so they where left in mystery why there child already had spirit power equal to his father.

In the years of a teen, his spirit power began to increase and he needed to eat 3 times a day. His father who dreamed of being a shinigami but never succeeded began to train his son hoping he fulfill his own dream. Kennori accepted his father training. The training began first with hand-to-hand no weapons at all. Kennori first he must be able to defend without weapons and gain speed en quick thinking. they trained a year for he was able to defend and dodge every attack of his father and outrun him. Now he has the speed en reflex for hand-to-hand defense he trained offense. It was rather the same style of training, he needed speed and quick thinking, except he has to train his eyes for searching open spots or breaks in attacks, after some months of hand-to-hand his father repeated the training but now with wooden sword, since he didn`t have really swords.
after 3 years of training his father send him to Shinigami academy.

Shinigami Academy accepted Kennori and his really shinigami training began, also the start of years of bulling,
Due to the 3 year training of his father he was best of hes fighting class. His Kidõ didn`t really steel the show, he had great aim but it mostly exploded midair.
In the following years he discovers the great joy of skating through the Seireitei, Due to the amount of obstacles his reflexes increased more becoming one of the fastest of his class. But how hard he tried to look cool and gain respect from his class mates he still was the one who everyone picked at.

At the end of his years in shinigami academy he was assigned to the 11the squad because of his strength and lack of good kidõ, the shinigami`s of his former class where enormously jealous because he was assigned to the 11th squad. They waited him up wanted to beat him down, when Kennori walked out the 11th squad barracks they surrounded him, but there where some 11the squad members looking so he coudn`t back dowm anymore. Scared of being beaten down before his squad he didn`t know what to do, he asked himself what he could do against 5 shinigami`s. He hear a deep voice telling him to fight back and get his sweet revenge. He asked the strange voice how he ever could win against them where the voice answers "just call upon my name and i shall bring you victory like you always wanted, just say my name Shibousha-gai and think of a catchy phrase " so Kennori shouted "Come forth from the black flames, Shibousha-gai !"and his Zanpakutõ chanced in a great dragon-like scythe the blades looked like a dragons with his jaws opened, when they saw the great scythe they ran away trembling in fear. From this day forth Kennori gains his self respect and believe in himself, but also the desire to fight. But Faints after a few seconds and wakes in his inner world.

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Skills/Attributes
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Skills

• Swordsmanship- Advanced
  
• Kidō- intermediante
  
• Hohō - intermediante
  
• Hand to Hand - Advanced

Attributes

• Speed - Advanced
  
• Power - Advanced
  
• Stamina - intermediante
  
• Intelligence - intermediante

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Zanpakutō
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Name: Shibousha-gai
Translation - deaths scythe

Unreleased Appearance

It looks like a scythe but its about the same length as Kennori, there are 2 blades they connect at the end of the snatch ( same as hilt on a zanpaktuõ) there are little curved blades running down on the top blade all the way back to the snatch. these are the counters of the ability's. its blades are black all the way down with a little bit of red accents, its the same for the snatch

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Zanpakutō Spirit
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Name:Shibousha-gai
Gender:deaths scythe

Spirit Appearance

Shibousha-gai looks like a big dragon`s shade, his horns are black-red flames

Personality

His personality isn`t the same as Kennoris but they share some things like the sadistic humor and want to drag out fights. But Shibousha-gai is mostly the build in anger and desire for revenge part of Kennori, he gives Kennori the will to fight

Relationship to Master

Since Kennori called upon Shibousha-gai he gains Shibousha-gai will to fight and revenge. Now Kennori gaind that part of Shibousha-gai. Shibousha-gai likes Kennori allot more since he finally can get what he wants.

Inner World

Kennoris inner world is a mountain sight with lots of volcanoes that frequently erupt with black magma but give forth rich ground on which allot of trees grow, but get burned down by the eruptions repeating this over and over again. Later in his life the chaos stops and the eruptions only occurred when he fights ore is really upset or mad

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Zanpakutō Shikai
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Call Out Phrase:Come forth from the black flames, Shibousha-gai

Shikai Appearance

It looks like a scythe but its about the same length as Kennori, there are 2 blades they connect at the end of the snatch ( same as hilt on a zanpaktuõ) there are little curved blades running down on the top blade all the way back to the snatch. these are the counters of the ability's. its blades are black all the way down with a red flame on the sides of the low blade, its purpose is to show when he can use his greatest ability.

Shikai Abilities

Name of Ability Kuroi-kaji-bakuha.
Shadow Fire Blast

• Description of Attack - a beam of black fire shots out of the opening of the blades the beam begins rather small about 3 cm across but after 30 cm it stops en charges itself shouting a 1 meter wide fire beam out in a powerful explosion, it takes 2 seconds to charge.
  
• Type - Fire
  
• Range - 175 m in front of the opening between the two blades, 1 meter wide
  
• Limitation -50 times when the last curved blade on top is cracked ( there are 50 blades running back to the snatch) beam deals 1 shot of 10 seconds .
  

Name of Ability Ranpu kirite.
Light cutterC

• Description of Attack -The blades blast a black smoke that wraps everyone in 5 m diameter in darkness leaving them with bad eyesight except Kennori he gains the vision in darkness for small amount of time.
  
• Type - darkness
  
• Range - 100 across
  
• Limitation - 10 times ( cracks 5 curved blades of the 50 ) the time of the Ability lies around 15 seconds
  

Name of Ability Tsuchi-honoo
Earth Aflame

• Description of Attack - Kennori smashes Shibousha-gai in the earth shouts "erup earth flame of destruction" and pulls back Shibousha-gai. from the crater he made, a small eruption o cures. and flaming rocks shout out and fall down in a range withing 20o meters randomly.
  
• Type - earth/fire
  
• Range - 200 meter in diameter
  
• Limitation - 5 time ( cracking 10 of the 50 curved blades but Kennori needs to charge this ability every time which needs 10 minutes then the red accented flame on his zanpakutõ is glowing red )
  

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Zanpakutō Bankai
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Haven`t learned Bankai yet

Name:
Translation - If Applicable

Bankai Appearance

1 Paragraph

Bankai Abilities

Name of Ability

• Description of Attack -
  
• Type -
  
• Range -
  
• Limitation -

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OOC Information

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Sample Post
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"Where am i? its looking like a mountain sight but hom did i get here?"Kennori asked him self while rubbing the back of his head.
This is your inner world, your soul Kennori. this is where i life. said a deep voice. Kennori recognized the deep voice.
"Hey, is that you Shibousha-gai?" Kennori shouted.
"How is it possible, 1ste try right, your a very smart young man Kennori". Shibousha-gai said laughing back.
"Please call me Kenny. You should know i prefer only my first name Shibousha-gai, but how did i get here?".
"Well you called upon me and after the other Squad members took a run for it, you just fainted and woke up here. So now your here want i ride and? ill show you your inner world".
Sure why not, what can happen Kennori said pulling his shoulder up.



After a few minutes flying through his inner world Kennori wonders why his inner world is such a frequent chaos of destruction and rebirth. The smell was more then weird it was a mix of gas clouds and fresh trees making his noise feeling irritated, the sounds of constant loud eruptions and smashing rocks and the air was warm and dry but no dust at all what was really strange.
"Ey Shibousha-gai?".
"What is it Kenny?". "Why is my inner world such a chaos of destruction and rebirth?".
"Haha you noticed, well thats because our personalities fused together here. You are a more caring, trusting
person, but since you gain the will for revenge and fight, with are mine, this chaos began. See the rebirth of trees and plants are your caring side while the eruptions are your will for fight, and they collide. since your will of fight and revenge finaly came through every volcano erupted its, now its calming down since you are calming down. But when you go into a fight ill expect a chain of eruptions do to the anger and fighting. You know, that when you first joined the academy, this place was like a calm forest where i slept almost the whole time. But then, when you became the one they picked on and bullied, i awakened and mountains began to rise from the ground, you must have noticed that you sometimes did horrible things in your head with them, thats because these mountains grow of your anger and hatred and when you release that they erupt. Are you still following me, young Kenny?? Mountain of hate and anger, fighting, eruptions".
"I guess. you mean that this world reacts on how im feeling and that stuff" .
"And another 1ste guess right, your a very smart young man Kenny. Yes this world reacts on how you are feeling" .
"I see, how do i get outa here? I`m hungry and want to get something to eat."
"Ill bring you back, don`t freak out now young Kenny."
"don`t freak out? why?
and when Kennori asked Shibousha-gai it was al black around him. Again he fainted but when he wakes up, he was lying in a bed in the 4th squad barracks.

He walks out of the 4th Squad barracks after a shinigami nurse was confinced he was alright and had something to ate do to his hunger, he grabbed his skateboard and skated away back tot the 11th squad barrack. He didn`t want to rush over there so he just slowly went over there. He thought about what happend just a minute ago, about his chaotic inner world, his nwe Zanpakutõ form and about Shibousha-gai. He reachis over his shoulder and pulles his zanpakutõ and looks at it. "it looks like it always has been, was it all a dream then?". "No Kenny, i wasnt a dream" said back Shibousha-gai. Kennori smiled Finally, now nobody can ever mess with me again. Death awaits for all my enemies Kennori thought. arriving at his barracks some squad members nearby congratulated him. Kennori feels like he is on top of the world, but also very tired and wants to sleep the rest of the day. He walked to his room fell on his bad, feeling the nice soft pillow and warm sheets he falls al slee in great peace and joy.

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Rules and Guide Agreement
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• Have you read the full rules of this site, including Xat rules, and understand them?
  
  Yes
  
  
• Have you read through the Shinigami Application Guide?
  
  Yes
  
  
• How many Characters do you currently posses?
  
  Canon - 0
  Original - 0

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Moderator Use Only

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Reviewed by:
Tier Level:
Upgrade: N/A or Number

[Wicked]

First off, you fudged up the template; copy an paste the one from the code box. Second, rename your character; there is already a character named Masaru.

*cough*Mine*cough*.

I'll give you an actual review once you've fixed this.

[neokenpachi]

i have fixed everything name and its in code box. hope its good

[Wicked]

Ok, well, sadly it's not. The grammar in this application is absolutely horrible. You don't need three returns in every paragraph; only press the return key twice after each paragraph. Instead of using [`], use [']. You don't need periods after every quote, and when you do use a period in a quote, put it inside the quote, not outside of the quote. There are more, for which I reccommend using word if you have it.

Avoid run ons like this one:

Kennori loves to skateboard and love to have as much fun as possible and he has a weird sense of fun, he has a kinda sadistic way of humor, what is not really fitting his personality towards other nut fits his fighting style excellent, making him laugh while fighting and enjoys himself.

And now to the review.

Name: I hope Kenny isn't an English-dub Kenpachi reference.

Appearance: Ok, stop saying he's better than most shinigami and can kill people in the app now. That depends on his tier. No, "He can jump higher," or, "He has better balance." That all depends on tier; someone with mid strong will most likely jump higher than someone with mid average. Someone with mid strong will certainly jump higher than someone with mid weak.

Describe the skateboard. Is it a weapon? Does it have the potential to be a weapon? Is it made of material other than what a normal skateboard would be made of? How did he get a skateboard in Sereitei?

Personality: Write more, make an effort to split up the sentences.

History: Don't use the digits to describe numbers less than ten. Write them out. Spirit power is the equivalent of reiatsu.

Ok, people don't beat you up just for getting assigned a certain division. This paragraph is where I found the biggest problems.

"just call upon my name and i shall bring you victory like you always wanted, just say my name Shibousha-gai and think of a catchy phrase "

Where did it say he wanted to win? Anywhere in the app? You haven't developed the character so what could he possibly want? You just say, "He was bullied," you don't say how!

Shinigami don't come up with their own call-out phrases.

Your call out phrase is far too long. Three words or less.

If he gained his self-respect just because people ran away from him, why is he still shy?

Skills Attributes: Intermediate, not intermediante.

Zanpakuto

Unreleased: You can't have a scythe for an unreleased zanpakuto. Secondly, I would ditch the scythe in general.

Scythes = Mary Sue Weapon of Choice.

Spirit: You're gonna need more than one sentence for appearance. Pictures don't mean anything here.

The personality needs more detail.

The relationship needs more detail.

Shikai:

Every single one of your powers is godmode. Why? The range is obscene, the elements don't match up, and there is no theme. The limitations are a joke. Assume your character is weaker than other characters. Plan for that to happen. Don't assume that your character is stronger because apps that assume that not only piss off the staff, but receive low tiers.

No darkness/fire/earth whatever. Pick a theme. THEN I'll review your abilities.

RP Sample: I can't read it; I literally cannot focus on it. From what I did see, it was, "Lawl, I'mma talk to mah zanpakuto cause we're BFFs!" Come up with an NPC to interact with. They can be a total stranger. Give a display of the personality.

Overall: I was considering denying this application. There is not a single section that does not need to be fixed. Put more time into the application than what was used to write it originally.

[Rebel Raven]

Moved due to applicant being a guest.