With the Captains suffering casualties and heavy injuries on their side, all hope seemed to be lost... until Shinji Hirako appeared, along with the rest of the former Shinigami. Though the aid of the Vizards certainly helped to draw the battle in their favor, it seemed Aizen's power alone proved too much for them.
Post by Shinigami Kyra on Feb 4, 2010 18:01:36 GMT -5
How Not To
Introduction
"Wait... so... what am I doing again?"
"Kyra; you're on!"
"What?! Momo! Hold on, I don't even-"
"Just read from the script!"
A bright light shinned upon the Fifth Squad Captain, shattering the darkness that her crimson hues had long since adjusted to. Immediately, she squinted and shielded from the light, though it was obvious from the prior muttering now silenced that she was, once again, put on the spot.
"Shit, why am I always the one stuck with this job," Kyra sighed, leaned back in the small chair she was forced to present from, Momo several meters in front of her holding up some sort of large cards with writing on them. "Am I supposed to read from there? I can't see it, move closer!"
"I can't move any closer or I'll be in the shot," Momo whispered quietly. "Stop breaking the fourth wall and introduce this section already!"
Kyra leaned forward and let out a bit of a cough before she finally spoke to those in attendance.
"Greetings and salutations," the redhead started out. "My name is Kyra Rounin, and I'm here today to introduce the newest install... installation? Oh, installment. The newest installment of the Chain of Life Forum Guide. There is but only one man who can approach a subject that is held within this chapter of the Guide, one man who can explain the proper process, the Do's and Dont's of our lovely forum. A man of caliber, a man of confidence... passion! A man of... Momo, do I really have to read all this?"
"Stop breaking character!" A frustrated Momo whispered harshly. A loud, venting sigh escaped Kyra's lips before she took in a deep breath. After a moment's pause, she began to speak far more rapidly.
"A man of virtue, a man of honor, a man of artistry, a man of intelligence, a man of acuity, a man of perception, a man of efficiency, a man of modesty... wait, modesty? Momo; he didn't write this intro himself, did he?"
The sounds of several large, thick cards hitting the ground seemed to end the outer monologue. After a few blinks, Kyra turned back to the audience.
"Well, I guess I'll just say it then. Here's Urahara Kisuke with the 'What Not To Do' section."
Stepping into view of the camera was the man himself! Laughing and waving as the sounds of roaring applause is heard and a few flowers tossed into view. Taking a seat behind the desk and adjusting his hat carefull before smiling charmingly to the camera. "Yes, yes! Thank you for that lovely introduction Kyra' you've a lovely speaking voice, you know. In any event, welcome! To the 'How Not To...' Show hosted by myself, Kisuke Urahara."
Fanning himself as he took a sip of his tea gingerly before addressing the camera once more. "In this first episode we'll be covering How Not To Apply for a Character. This is, of course, the first step to becoming apart of our lovely Forum Board and is the first real look the staff get at your ability to write and your creativity with the character. So...Momo-Taichou, if you would load the clip? We'll observe."
Urahara sat back and turned in his chair as the lights dim and the viewing screen light's up with an old 4, 3, 2 countdown before the grainy picture comes on. "Of course, you'll have to click the link to read this section dear viewers, I'd not like to flood a thread, after all."
The lights return and Urahara turned back to the camera, "Well, there you have it. For those of your curious, my doors have been replaced and Yachiru-chan was given a little mission to keep her out of my hair. In any event! I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of 'How Not To...', I'm your host Kisuke Urahara and look for next week's episode of 'How Not To...' covering Posting! Have a good night."
Post by Shinigami Kyra on Feb 4, 2010 21:09:04 GMT -5
"Oi, Ichigo!"
"Eh?"
"What happened to your face?!"
"Don't ask..."
"I just did!" Rukia's eyes were as wide as saucers as she viewed the orange haired teen... no longer supporting those familiar orange strands. In fact, his whole facial structure seemed to have changed all together! Instead of the peach-colored hue, it was replaced by a far brighter, red color, with black spots. Even the shape was change! The top side of his head was more rounded, and stretched out a bit farther. His hair had been replaced by what could only be described as the tiny green leaves one would find on the top of a strawberry. Put that together with the new skin texture of his entire head, and one could determine that Ichigo's head had been turned into a strawberry! His expression, however, did not find any humor in the irony.
"Someone sneaked into my room and left some sort of bomb there," Ichigo explained. "A bunch of smoke came out, and it turned my face into this!"
"That's so-"
"Don't say it," Ichigo quickly hushed the woman as he turned to those in attendance. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his cargo pants, he let out a sigh before addressing the real reason why he and Rukia were there. "We're here to introduce the next section of this Guide... ... ... Rukia? Rukia, what are you doing? stop poking me!"
"The texture is just so real," Rukia continued to poke nonetheless, completely unable to shift her eyes to where Orihime was holding the cue cards for her to read.
"Rukia, it's your line!"
"Oi," Rukia barked and continued to turn his face left and right. "I wonder if you're edible now."
"Anyway," Ichigo attempted to continue while palming the raven haired girl's face with his hand to keep her at arm's length. "Here's Urahara with the next section, How Not to Post. Oi, Rukia, where are you going? Wait... what are you doing with that giant fork?"
Urahara stepped into view from the side stage and smiled as he waved to the unseen audience. "Thank you, thank you. Welcome back to 'How Not To...'. As you can see I'm accompanied by a Strawberry and Kuchiki Rukia-san of the noble House Kuchiki. They were kind enough to agree of their own free will to help me with this very special 'How Not To..' as we'll be covering posting on the boards." Urahara nodded to Jinta and Ururu who were standing on either side of nowhere. Both grabbed ahold of his arms and forced the strawberry painted man to sit in the chair.
"Ah...Rukia-san...if you could step off to one side? Once Tessai gets the ropes on nice and tight for Ichigo-san's own protection I'll begin." Tessai appearing and walking over with an armful of rope steps forward before a cloud of activity and hands leaves Ichgo tied to the chair and all three of Urahara's beloved assistants step to one side. "Such fine work, Tessai! You always impress me."
Clearing his throat before speaking to the camera directly, "Well!, it has been brought to my attention that some of the posts on the board could be better, so I'll be offering some very helpful hints and covering a few 'How Not To...'s. First of all, I will speak of the flow of a post. Every post must have flow, or readability. This is nothing more than a smooth transition from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph. Describing in just enough detail what your character is doing or saying to others who may be in your thread. While it's easy to write something like 'So and So stands up and walks towards Whathisface.' there is room for much improvement that is referred to as flavor. Instead you can do something like 'So and So groans as he/she stands, stretching a bit before making his/her way towards Whathisface.' You see, just adding a few small flavor details can turn something boring into something a bit more interesting."
"As a good rule of thumb, and something I tend to do myself, before submitting your post, give a pause...read the post outloud to yourself and you will be able to hear any breaks of flow or integrity in paragraphs and sentence structure. This is a good habit to get into!"
"Now, How Not To ruin a perfectly good thread! God Modding, or assuming the reactions of someone other than yourself or posing that person's reactions, is a great example of what not to do. Assuming that your character has any ability or item not listed in your application or not expressly given to your character or permission given to you as a player, by staff is another great example. You do not have Gigai Bombs unless you have permission to have Gigai Bombs...I've also not invented them, so you doubly don't get them. Assuming knowledge your character would not have is also a bit of a no-no especially if it involves knowledge of someone else. As not everyone knows about Soifon's little obsession with a very dear feline friend of mine, for an example. Just like not everyone knows Yumichika-san's true Zanpakutou or that Ikkaku-san has attained Bankai. These are only examples, of course..."
Urahara walked over to Ichigo then, his hand fell onto Ichigo's shoulder, though he still addressed the camera, "Also, it is a good point to offer enough to allow your fellow thread mates enough so that they may respond in like detail! If someone posts three paragraphs of a post and your only real response is a single paragraph in return, you're stunting their responding post. Address their post and then expand upon it with your own character's responces and reactions and then a little more so they may respond and react to you!"
"Now, I will be allowing my lovely assistant Ururu-chan to demonstrate what Kyra-dono will do to you if you break these rules. Ururu, if you will please?" Urahara then stepped away as Ururu stepped forward and bowed to the camera. "I apologize if this is rude, Viewer-donos." She then turned and slid on her gloves and headgear and faced Ichigo before jumping into him and another cloud formed. Images of Ichigo's hand reaching for freedom or assistance only to be pulled back in. Gloved hands drawn back and disappearing as well. Shouted cries of pain as well as soft demure apologies are heard. A few censored bars offered now and then before the dust settles leaving Ichigo a bruised mess on the floor with bits of broken chair around him. Ururu bowed again to the camera and stepped back in line.
"Ah, you're such a saint for agreeing to help me, Strawberry-san! Ururu-chan, excellent work, as always. Well! This conludes our episode of 'How Not To...' and I hope that I see you next week for a special episode of 'How Not To..' entitled Grammar and You. This is your host, Kisuke Urahara wishing you a good night." Pausing as he looked to Tessai holding a squirming Yachiru out at arm's length and the box in her hands. A quick conversation ensues and Urahara nods for Tessai to let Yachiru down, "Ah, Rukia-chan...it seems to have a very, very urgent package that cannot wait." Looking very curious as he watched the goings on.
"Na~ Ru-chan!" Yachiru chirped happily, remaining careful to not shake the box. As usual, her smile went from one ear to the other, and her eyes shimmered with the joyful premonition of Rukia as a fruit.
Yes, it was Yachiru at her pranks again, but the box had no name on it, besides saying "To Rukia". Yachiru, of course, had needed help remembering the name. Rukia... Who can remember a name like that? Really!
The very second Yachiru was released, she took off like a bullet--no, faster than a bullet! There was no appropriate word for how fast Yachiru was running--except for maybe Roadrunner. In the cartoony style, she also stopped and shook like a spring that had just bounced back up, right before Rukio... Rujira... Ru-chan.
"Ru~chan!" Yachiru chimed once more, "Open it! Open it! I wanna see what's inside!" Of course, Yachiru knew what was inside: another paint bomb.
((Since Wicked cannot post in the Rules, I am here on her behalf)) Another bubbly smile, the child gave the box another shake. She knew exactly what was in the box. It was waiting. Waiting for Ruki... Ruki... Ru-chan to open the box!
Another fruity paint bomb, another laugh for all involved. This one, Yachiru had decided to turn Ru-chan into a raspberry. This was purely for the joy of seeing the two red berries stuck together, right after Ru-chan had insulted Ichi!
Ru-chan, however, was beginning to grow old. She didn't want to get too predictable with these nicknames of course! She'd have to change it up in a little bit.
