With the Captains suffering casualties and heavy injuries on their side, all hope seemed to be lost... until Shinji Hirako appeared, along with the rest of the former Shinigami. Though the aid of the Vizards certainly helped to draw the battle in their favor, it seemed Aizen's power alone proved too much for them.
He kind of nodded when she stated that it was spur of the moment. Izaya did this to show her that he understood what she was talking about. He knew what she meant; sometimes emotions could take control and kind of posses your actions. It had happened to him, hell, it was why he was talking to her. He had a lot on his mind and most of it involved her. The other bit involved his future as a Shinigami. He wanted to talk to her about that but he didn't want to scare her. That shit was deep.
She was drawing a tree, which was a little odd. He tried to sneak a peak at her work in progress but the ribs were preventing too much movement. That was pretty shitty. He couldn't even look at what his friend was drawing. Oh, how bad was this? Could he get up and walk around? No, the ribs would prevent that too. Shit.
"Kin-chan, is there nothing to be done with my midsection? The arm doesn't bother me as much as the whole limited mobility thing."
That was a lie; not having an arm bothered him. Extensively did it bother him. Everything on his right side was out of his reach. There was nothing he could do about it. He wouldn't be able to even fight correctly without an arm. He couldn't cast a kido, or fight hand to hand. All that was really left was swordsmanship as a means of combat. Izaya sincerely hoped that his sword was in good shape. Damn, he actually missed Haishutsu Megami.
Kin looked to Izaya, and she set down her drawing. She had wanted to take another stab at healing Izaya, especially after he'd told her to give up the last time. No, she was a good healer. She could fix him up. "Let me try again. Maybe I was a little thrown off by seeing you like that."
Standing, she leaned over Izaya and took a deep breath. Her hands drifted over his chest again and she let the reiatsu feed through her finger tips and run through him. Maybe they were both just tired, or maybe if she tried pushing through in one go she could get rid of any still points of reiatsu that she found.
Character List "Let's eat, Grandma!" "Let's eat Grandma!" Commas save lives.
"Let me try again. Maybe I was a little thrown off by seeing you like that."
He gave her an exhausted look. Was she really going to try this again? Izaya's face kind of squirmed as she began pushing her reiastu into him. It kind of alleviated the pain but he knew how this was going to end. In about ten minutes all the pain would resume and only bitterness would ensue. Bitterness that nothing was able to keep him out of pain for very long. It was a kind of hopeless, morbid notion that he didn't much care for.
"Does my reiastu feel anymore natural now?"
He knew it probably wouldn't. But still, a part of him wanted it to. He wanted to take away this pain because it was almost unbearable. Every time he moved it was as if a myriad of knifes were stabbing into his midsection. He decided, instead, to fixate on the purple-haired woman standing over him. She was trying so desperately to fix him. Knowing that she cared about him more than she was letting on, he put on a small smile.
He didn't feel any better. That network of reiatsu inside of him was twisted, and even though Kin was able to work out a few knots and kinks, new ones formed. Again. Her expression didn't change, and he wouldn't be able to tell how furious she was. Or how worried. She didn't know if she was furious at him or furious at that arrancar, or if she was worried because he might have to stop being a shinigami and maybe someday leave and then she wouldn't see him again...
"Does my reiatsu feel any more natural now?"
Kin didn't answer, pretending that she hadn't heard. She was focusing hard, trying her best to work through the hardest clogs she could find. Then Izaya said, "I feel a little better, Kin-chan."
"Liar," she whispered, finally removing her hands and setting them on her lap. There wasn't much that she could do for him at all - he might have been stuck like that for the rest of his life.
Character List "Let's eat, Grandma!" "Let's eat Grandma!" Commas save lives.
It didn't seem to be working. There was still a small pulsation of pain that pervaded his entire midsection. He just gave a small look at Kin. Sweet sweet Kin. She still trying so hard to fix him. He had a feeling that they both knew it was not going to work. Taking a deep breath, he thought about how best to say these things. He simply exhaled a sigh and locked his eyes into a gaze with hers.
"Kin-chan...you're one of the few people I actually respect and trust. Let's be logical. Has it gotten any better? Any better at all? Even minuscule change needs to be noted. They won't be sending me anywhere for a while. I mean, damn, I just lost an arm. There might be a chance that this may improve on its own after a long period of time."
He looked up at the ceiling and thought about how to phrase this next part. He didn't know when else he would have the chance to say this. Taking a deep breath, he felt air fill his lungs. Then there was a slight problem in his midsection. He had taken too deep a breath and his ribs were protesting vehemently.
"Kin-chan...I've gotten logic out of the way. So, now for the other stuff. I don't want to lose my position as a Shinigami. I've worked hard for it and I feel that it would be a waste. The other thing is that...Well...I have a lot of things I don't want to lose. My seat, my zanpaktou, you."
He looked down and felt his face get hot. He was kind of embarrassed by that admittance of emotion. Izaya wasn't used to that sort of thing. Knowing Kin wasn't either, he knew how awkward this could make things. Shit, he should've done this when he wasn't in a position where he couldn't just walk away if things got too heavy.
Kin listened to Izaya, shocked that he actually respected or trusted her. Of all the things that he could have said, that threw her off the most. Was he lying? Or was he just trying to guilt her into giving him the answer? She frowned, and looked to him.
"No," she admitted. "As soon as I get anything done, it comes undone."
The injured shinigami continued, admitting that of all the things he didn't want to lose, there weren't very many. And at the end of the list was her.
"What?"
He was delerious. Yes, yes, he was injurred, and unable to think clearly because of all of his injuries. Kin refused to believe that he had any real feelings for her. Izaya was a jerk. Sycophantic, lying jerk. He'd do anything to get what he wanted - that's all he was doing now.
Kin stood up and shook her head. "I..."
She turned on her heel and walked out, doing what she thought Izaya would have done had she told him the same.
Character List "Let's eat, Grandma!" "Let's eat Grandma!" Commas save lives.
"As soon as I get anything done, it comes undone."]
Letting out a small sigh, the realization that all this was pointless set in upon him. It was kind of horrid to think of how he was going to go on right now. Was he going to have to give up being a Shinigami? Yes, yes he was. It was pretty obvious that if he couldn't wield his own reiastu he was rather doomed. He closed his eyes and held back everything that he could to keep Kin from seeing his distress.
"So the prognosis isn't good then. Great."
Then she began to freak out. Apparently telling her that he didn't want to lose her wasn't the best thing. Damn, women were too complicated. He always thought that they had wanted for someone to tell them shit like that. She left. No, she legitimately just left. Turned heel and everything.
"Man, I fucked up."
He looked around the room. She had left everything. The moshi and even her drawing. Grabbing onto his jacket, he threw himself into the pillow and shut his eyes tight. Uttering a low "Shit" he tried to go to bed. He would be in this hospital bed without company. Oh yes, oh yes he would.