Vizard - Yakedo - MLA

[lixan]

Name: Yakedo Sakana (Burned Fish)
Age: 200
Gender: Male
Personality:

Yakedo initially comes on as very loathing, having a cold indifference to anyone he doesn't know, or care to know. However, this is just a defense mechanism his mind threw up after his Clan's tradegy, where he and some others were disowned after a Coup D'etat.
After getting past the loathing side, Yakedo's personality become less cold and more of a determination, although the indifference is still there. Its almost as if he's devoted his entire existence to achieving a single goal, linked directly to his tragic past.
The only joy he ever shows comes either in battle, where he knows he's going to get closer to his ultimate goal, or during those "warm, friendly moments" among friends and those of his clan, when you feel your souls connecting.

Overall, his goal is his only true friend, and his only true enemy. He's willing to give anything up for it, including the life of an ally, although even his cold personality has limits. He absolutely refuses to risk the life of his sister, Atsui, for obvious reasons once you've learned his past, and anyone completely devoted to helping him.

Getting on his good side really only includes helping him in his goal, saving someone devoted to his goal, or things of the sort. Pissing him off really consists of getting in the way of his goal, mocking his goal, or anything involving a hating comment of his goal.

All in all, his goal is his life. He was so young when his goal was formed that it is all he knows, and as such its all he can truly do.

Appearance:

Height: 5'11"
Weight: 140 Pounds
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Blood Red
Shoe Size: 12
Teeth: White, Straight

As a Vizard, Yakedo has abandoned the standard Shinigami uniform, and wears more human-like clothes, consisting of skinny, black jeans, an untucked and unbuttoned white, button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. There is a plain, black shirt underneath the button-down shirt.
He wears black sunglasses, which he keeps tucked on his hair above his forehead. He never wears them.
On his bare back is the character for Fish (Sakana), taking up his entire upper back, being the birthmark of the Sakana Clan. There is a giant slash through it, signifying him being disowned.

Hollow Mask:

The standard white of all hollow masks, and looks like a bird's face, as it protrudes outwards with a beak about 1 foot in length. On the top of the top half of the mask there are numerous red, tiki-like phoenix feathers that stand up, but sag about halfway up the feather. When he moves, they flow like red streaks.

Hollow Powers:

Standard upgrade of abilities a mask gives.
Standard Cero
Cero Supurauto (Hollow Flash Sprout) - An original cero, unique to Yakedo via his hollow mask. Rather than being a widespread ray, the cero becomes more of a beam, becoming more linelike. When the cero reached a certain point, it splits into many (about 6 -10) separate rays, which arc outwards and come back into a central point, usually the opponent. Each separated ray carries power equal to its fraction (i.e. if there 6 rays then each ray is about 1/6 the power of the original cero).

Inner Hollow:

Much like his zanpakuto, Yakedo's inner hollow is a phoenix, although its entirely red with a white head/beak, further linking it to being a hollow.
Its no bigger than a crow, but it gives off a fearsome reiatsu. It also speaks in a deep, echoing voice.

When it takes over Yakedo, the main difference between the two is their fighting style. Yakedo, as a fighter, focuses on tactics and his skilled swordsplay, but the Hollow completely disregards this and simply battles with bloodlust, spamming the battlefield with Yakedo's fire, until it overwhelms the opponent.

Zampakuto's name:

Zenreenmaru

Zampakuto Spirit:

A red, bloated phoenix. Its about the size of a crow, and is VERY fat, barely able to fly on its own power.
Zenreenmaru almost always has some comment on wanting something to eat. He really has no other expressed interests other than food, even going as far as making his "bankai challenge" for Yakeod fetching him the "perfect meal."
His inner world appears to just be a black void where the inner hollow and Zenreenmaru appear, standing on some invisible pillar, opposite each other.

Un-released Zampakuto's Appearance:

A normal katana with a red hilt. It has a rectangular guard, with what seems to be a flame-like design connecting the outer lines of the guard to the hilt of the sword.

Shikai Release phrase::

"Burn, Zenreenmaru!"

Shikai Appearance::

The katana's shape stays exactly the same, but the blade of the sword turns from the standard silver to a blood red, signifying that its gathered a significant amount of fire to its blade. The guard and hilt stay the same, but a red phoenix feather sprouts from the bottom of the hilt, sagging and blowing in the wind like any worn feather would when held down by something.

Shikai Abilities::

The red of the blade is actually "sealed" fire on the blade, which is gathered from Yakedo's fire reishi. The blade acts like a magnet for them, gathering them when its not covered in fire. The feather on the back is actually the magnet, and the blade is its medium, so if the feather is destroyed or damaged, the ability will cease to work.
Aku Kasai (Arcing Fire)- By slashing the blade, Yakedo can release the stored fire in an arc of fire, about 15 - 20 ft in height, towards the opponent, inflicting all it touches with its fire, and exploding in a firey blast when striking its intended target. Afterwards, the blade must gather more of his reishi before another attack can be mounted.
Also, Yakedo can release the fire onto the blade, simply wielding a flaming blade. The fire can then be redirected to be used as the previously mentioned attack, but it will be considerably weaker.

The fire released by Zenreenmaru's attack is simply normal fire, and functions as such. It is put out by water, burns to the touch, etc. And as its reishi based, beings with more powerful reiatsu will be less effected by the above attacls. Also, Yakedo can only generate as much fire as his reishi reserves will allow, as they are drawn directly from his own reiatsu.


However, Zenreenmaru's true potential is almost never reached by Yakedo. He claims the true power of his zanpakuto bores and disgraces him, as he prefers to attack directly rather than with spells. However, that doesn't stop him from using Zenreenmaru to his fullest when need be.
Zenreenmaru is incorrectly assumed to be a fire-based zanpakuto, but that is incorrect. The only reason it has fire-like abilities is because of Yakedo's fire-based reishi. Truly, Zenreenmaru's abilities revolve around seals, with the reishi gathered by the blade being ink to draw the seals. Their appearance is simply the kanji for fish, sakana, which is also the birthmark of the Sakana Clan and is tattooed on his back. For each seal, he must write the characters for the attack within the seal to activate it.
Yakedo uses the command "Burn your mark" when using his seals, rather than just the "Burn" he uses to release his shikai. The "your mark" is likely refering to his seals, marking them into the ground to use them. The difference is perhaps refering to how he usually just slashes with his fire, but releases his "true" power wiht the second release command.

Uzu Zumen (Vortex Drawing)- Yakedo draws the seal on the ground, over a large area, with the sword, the lines actually flaming from the special reishi used to draw them. He draws the kanji for the attack inside the seal, and the flames on the line flare up even more, eventually becoming an inferno and exploding, devastating anything within its field. The range it covers varies with how large Yakedo draws it, but the larger it is the weaker it is.

Zumen ni Shitagatsu (Follow Drawing)- Yakedo draws a small seal with the kanji for the attack in the center. Without picking up his sword, he drags it along a path and draws a second, identical seal, albeit must larger. When he uses his Aku Kasai, the arc will travel along the drawn path. He can draw multiple small seals and connect them, effectively making a web the arc can travel amongst, under his control.

Henkou Burakku Zumen (Alter-Black Drawing)- Yakedo draws a small seal, but instead of drawing the kanji for the attack in it, he jams his katana into the center, whatever reishi is left of the blade pouring out into it, like a stain. As long as he remains within the circle (which practically means he can't move from the spot he's in), the fire from his attacks become black, becoming twice as large and powerful, but also using up twice as much reishi and energy.

Bankai Description:

N/A

Bankai Abilities:

N/A

Skill Level: Kidou: Beginner
Skill Level: Swordsmanship: Advanced
Skill Level: Shunpou: Intermediate
Skill Level: Hand-to-hand: Advanced
History/Background:

Yakedo was a member of the great Sakana Clan, a well-known and feared Vizard Clan. As a child, Yakedo was severly protected and spoiled by his mother and father, who were the leaders of the Sakana Clan. Being the youngest of many children, he was valued and spoiled even more than he normally would be. This sheltered environment contributed heavily to his personality when a Coup D'etat rose up in the clan, with about half of the members (those of the lower rank) siding with the Coup leader. The fight resulted in the death of his father, the capture and imprisonment of his mother, and the execution of anyone who sided with his father, who were mainly the higher-ups of the clan (the more "honorable" members and such). However, Yakedo and his siblings escaped their deaths and were disowned from their clan, which is where the giant scar on his back came from.

With nothing left and stripped even their names, Yakedo and his three older siblings escaped to a rogue Vizard compound, where they were nursed back to health and given places in the society.
This marked the first great event of his life.

Having gone from never doing anything on his own, to having to survive in the harshest of all living conditions, Yakedo was devastated, and eventually his shattered mentality reformed with only one desire: the slay the one who devastated him so much.
With his determination, Yakedo sought out the leader of the Vizard compount; the only one there who knew bankai.
The leader, Sachio Kajuji, taught Yakedo about having to manifest his zanpakuto's spirit in order to subdue it, thus achieving bankai. Sachio helped Yakedo master his shikai, so he could manifest his bankai, and taught Yakedo the way to drawing out his zanpakuto.
This was the second great event in his life.

However, Yakedo found that achieving bankai wasn't as easy as he thought. When he tried to draw out his zanpakuto's spirit, to his horror, he saw his inner hollow blocking his way, trying to make its way out in his zanpakuto's place every time he tried it.
When he approached Sachio about this, the Vizard Leader reasoned that Yakedo must first subdue his inner hollow before he could draw out his bankai, much like demolishing a wall to most past it.
As Sachio placed Yakedo in the comatose state that the Vizards traditionally used to draw out an inner hollow. As Yakedo did battle in his void of an inner world, Sachio kept the hollow-controlled Yakedo's body at bay, the demon being no match for his superior zanpakuto, mask, and reishi control.
In his hollow form, Yakedo retained his basic build, but had a red hollow-like body, with his hollow hole on his chest and his vizard mask. He had four white, hollow-esque wings that could each fire a cero, but Sachio wa still able to easil subdue it.

In his innner world fight, Zenreenmaru looked on at Yakedo's and the Hollow's fight, with the hollow having grown in size to about Yakedo's height. As the hollow spammed the battle with ceros and mauled Yakedo with its wings and beak, the Vizard was at a terrible loss, unable to even use shikai.
However, the battle took a turn when the young Sakana boy remembered what it was all for, to avenge his clan, and he determinately grabbed Zenreenmaru, demanding power from him. This allowed him to enter his shikai and, with the training he'd been through with Sachio, he was able to subdue his inner hollow, gaining the power of his Vizard mask and allowing him to move on towards his bankai training.
This was the third great event in his life.

Sachio then told Yakedo that he would have to put off his bankai training so that he could learn to use his hollow mask to its full potential, while its newness was still fresh.
For his training, Sachio teaches Yakedo how to manifest his mask, which he catches on to easily, and the two battle with their masks to see how long Yakedo can hold his: a grand total of about a minute and a half.
Sachio begins to condition Yakedo to control his mask, amounting it up to about 3 minutes at the end of their training. According to Sachio, that was a reasonable time for a Vizard, and Yakedo insisted that they continue with his bankai training.

With his hollow all out of the way, Yakedo easily dragged out the fat fowl from his inner world. Sachio then left him to his own devices to subdue the bird. However, he was unable to subdue his zanpakuto, halting his bankai progress.

Hitting a wall in progress, Yakedo decided he could no longer wait and the Sakana boy departs from the compound, ready to take on the man who ruined his life, with Atsui, his sister, as his companion...

RP Sample:

Yakedo sat on the top of a utility pole, marveling at the reflection of the moon through the blade of his zanpakuto. He wasn't staring at it as much as he was zoned out with it in front of him. He did that a lot, thinking about then...

"Flee now, little boy." The man said. "Flee and never return! Your father is dead, and your mother is soon to follow! Your family's tyranny is no longer. I control this clan now, and I control your fate! So flee, little boy, flee and never return!"
The young boy he was commanding did just that, and fled. He didn't even look back through his tear-filled eyes, not a single glance at the shocked mother the man was holding in his arms, gripping with an iron hold.
"YAKEDO!" She shouted, struggling to free herself...

"Your expression scares me, Yakedo." A girl said, suddenly appearing beside the daydreaming Vizard.

"Oh, Atsui." Yakedo said, startled out of his trance. "I'm sorry, I know I get like that sometimes." There was no tone to his voice, as he looked onward into his zanpakuto again.

"Yakedo, you know its not healthy to keep thinking about..." Atsui trailed off. Even she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"I know." Yakedo said. "But it... its just..." He began, unable to find the words to finish. Atsui sighed, plopping down right next to him on the pole, almost pushing him off.

"Are you ever going to come back?" She asked. "You've haven't been to the warehouse in days, and they're starting to get worried."

"I'm not going back." Yakedo replied. "The next place I sleep will be back in my own bed."
He stared at his sister's shocked expression, emotionlessly.
"I know its foolish." He continued. "But I'm, going to kill him!"
He stood up and turned to Atsui, complete seriousness in his eyes.
"I swear to you, I'm going to kill our brother!"

[Rebel Raven]

Hello, I'll be handling your app.

Considering you want Bankai, almost every section of the application is, too underdone, IMO.
Personality, appearance, especially history.

Now, on to powers.

"Shunpo-Sonido"
Pick one. I'd go with Shunpo.

The Zanpakuto based Cero goes under Zanpakuto abilities.

"When it takes over Yakedo, the main difference between the two is their fighting style. While Yakedo isn't the best at Flash Steps, his inner hollow uses them nonstop, and is excedingly good at them. "
Not going to happen. It's basically giving your character 3 advanced skills.

Zanpakuto appearance could use more detail.

Shikai abilities need to be listed out and absolutemy lust take into account the fact that people can, and will be more powerful than your character. Setting "anything" on fire simply won't be possible with varying power tiers, and the fact he's not going to be setting water/ice on fire.

Dual Zanpakuto, and yes, I consider your Bankai a dual Zanpakuto, is not alowed for an app this lacking in detail.

We're gunna need a list of bankai zanpakuto abilities instead of a general description.

[lixan]

Ok, prettied up the personality and description.
I didn't want to get too deep into the history, just giving the basic jist of it. I was planning on going into detail in a storyline.

I put shunpo-sonido because I didn't know which one Vizards used, since I suppose they'd be able to use both. Fixed it.

Altered the Inner Hollow Takeover, so he won't be a Speedy Gonzolas anymore.

Changed the shikai description to your liking. I wanted it to come on as normal fire, burning like it, being put out like it, etc. Sorry if that was unclear before.

Thats considered a dual bankai? o.O I thought it was more along the lines of Ikkaku's, which isn't dual, is it?

And I would like to thank you for reviewing this. Its been agonizing waiting for someone to do this.

[Rebel Raven]

How about adding your character's weight to the description?

"and spams the battlefield with Yakedo's fire, until it overwhelms the opponent."
NOt going to fly. There's going to have to be a substantial weakness to the abilities as opposed to using them without end with no fatigue problems what so ever.

Again, list out your shikai and bankai abilities.

Name of ability: Description of ability
Repeat until all abilities are covered.

The History'll need more work. We have standards for bankai approval.

"Thats considered a dual bankai? o.O I thought it was more along the lines of Ikkaku's, which isn't dual, is it?"

"Zenreenmaru's Bankai exists as two separate weapons,"

2 weapons. Regardless of being connected by a chain, they're dual wielding in my book.

[lixan]

Alright, mapped out the abilities. I wasn't originally going to do that, since they really aren't a list of a bunch of abilities like how you could do to Hyorinmaru, but ok, I did it.

I messed with the background, too. If it still needs work, can I get a little help, like, what you'd like to see in it?

I limited to hollow by placing another limit on the shikai in general: It can only make as much fire as Yakedo's reishi reserves will allow, as they draw directly from his reiatsu, so if he's weak enough for the hollow to be able to take over, he won't exactly be able to set fire to the world.

I must've missed the weight. Thought I put it in there. Anyway, its there now.

[Rebel Raven]

"Alright, mapped out the abilities. I wasn't originally going to do that, since they really aren't a list of a bunch of abilities like how you could do to Hyorinmaru, but ok, I did it."

Even Bleach Wiki mapped out his abilities.

"Aku Kasai (Arcing Fire)- By slashing the blade, Yakedo can release the stored fire in an arc of fire towards the opponent, setting everything it touches on fire upon impact. Afterwards, the blade must gather more of his reishi before another attack can be mounted."

Too powerfully worded. It will have trouble catching water, ice, wind, potentially ground, more powerful characters, people with defenses against such things, etc. on fire.
Also we need to know how large the arc is. Height, width, etc.

"Kasai No Akagare (Fire's Longing)- Any wounds directly inflicted with Zenreenmaru (i.e. being cut) will be set on fire, and if put out will still burn as if its on fire, although the burning sensation will die down eventually."
Same as the problems with the previous abilities more or less. It takes nothing int account about it's weaknesses.

"I messed with the background, too. If it still needs work, can I get a little help, like, what you'd like to see in it?"

Spaces between paragraphs.

Milestones in his life. How he trained, any friends, the details in the coup, just expand on his past as much as you possibly can.

I think that's about it.

[lixan]

For the first shikai ability, I think I out in the description that the fire is just general fire, and has the same similarities as a general fire, so it can't set water on fire and such that normal fire can't do.

Also, the second shikai ability basically makes his attacks hurt a little more, nothing really overly powerful about that, but I fixed it up a bit just in case.

Expanded on the background, and by quite a lot.

[Rebel Raven]

You'll have to pardon me if I'm blunt, and maybe harsh. It's my way. It helps get to the point.

Your weapon is denied.

Why?

Firstly, your app didn't meet our standards required for dual wielding.

Our standards are high, and strict simply because dual wielding weapons are extremely rare. They're supposed to be incredibly special, iconic of incredible power (thanks to Kyoraku, and Ukitake), and the application has to be, pretty much long, flawless from the start, and brimming with quality. In other words, it has to be a work of perfection with a lot of work in it right from the start. Well, very very very very close to it.

We need the ever living hell impressed out of us. We have to wonder if your character was taken from a popular character's bleach wiki article.

Yeah, it's near impossible to have a dual wielded Zanpakuto. We did that on purpose to keep dual wielded Zanpakuto special.

"Zenreenmaru's Bankai exists as two separate weapons, but are joined by a chain and both draw from the same reishi reserve, so they really aren't truely separate."

You keep saying it. It's -2- weapons! That's dual wielding coz it's -2- weapons. It doesn't matter if they're connected or not which is pointed out on the FAQs.

Ukitake's Shikai would be 2 weapons, right? Right.
Shuhei's Shikai would be 2 weapons, right? Right.

You're asking for 2 weapons. They're designed to be wielded with one end in each hand at all times. They can attack with both ends at the same time. One can block, while the other can strike with ease. Basically, both ends have hilts.
They're 2 weapons with, essentially 2 hilts.

You don't even specify the length of chain. That tells me it doesn't matter to you coz you'll be wielding it as -2- weapons pretty much all the time.

Further the 2 weapons have unique properties. They're designed to compliment eachother. A single weapon would not really worry about it.

Even if you were patterning your Bankai after Ikkaku's Bankai, Ikkaku is more or less, dual wielding, so again, denied.

Even then, I'm seeing your Bankai more shaped like Shunsui's than Ikkaku's.

You're going to have to redo your weapon.

If you want my advice, here it is.

Make it like Ikkaku's shikai 3 section staff mode. It'll now be based off a single weapon, it's not designed to lash out with both ends at the same time, and most importantly, it's not meant to have the ends dual wielded.

It's not going to have somehing of a 20+ft melee reach either.

You can retain the blades, granted they may be more difficult to use because they'll be closer to his person all the time, and they can use unique abilities depending on the end.

If this breaks concept, and ruins the character, I'm sorry, but I'm 255% completely inflexible on the matter.

[Ai]

- Lightning Cero- The lightning tattoo will glow yellow and form a cero based on the lightning element, which works more along the lines of cutting the opponent and paralyzing them.
- Lightning Paralysis Blast- By firing off his lightning tattoo without charging it as a cero, it will shock or paralyze the opponent, although to a much less extent as the cero, and he must be in physical contact with his opponent to do this, and it only effects the area in contact with.

I need to see limiters on these, as in, a character that is a full tier above you is not going be suffering under the paralysis effects; and while you may have intended that in your head, still need to see it on the sheet, otherwise it's assumed that you intend anyone to suffer under the effects no matter how powerful. Also, you don't need Shunpou in Hollow Powers, because it's not a Hollow power and because Shinigami (which a Vizard initially is in body) already have Shunpou, so having in Hollow Powers is not only misplaced, but also, redundant.

Then...

...about the size of a Getsuga Tensho (if a little smaller)...

Stay away from the Ichigo stuff.

Also...

Hitsume (Claws on fire)- The halbert's blades can be set on fire by releasing the stored reishi, simply increasing attack damage.

For how long does this last? Does it drain his reiatsu more with each use?

[lixan]

Ok, Rebel:
Messed with the bankai, as requested. Instead of being duel wielded, he can switch between the two forms, keeping the same abilities and descriptions.

Ai:
Fixed the descriptions for the lightning. I meant for it just to numb the opponent, so I guess I just forgot to describe it correctly.

Removed the shunpo and changed the Getsuga Tensho reference.

The fire released by Zenreenmaru's attack is simply normal fire, and functions as such. It is put out by water, burns to the touch, etc. And as its reishi based, beings with more powerful reiatsu will be less effected by the above attacls. Also, Yakedo can only generate as much fire as his reishi reserves will allow, as they are drawn directly from his own reiatsu.

I think that answers the last question.